“Self-love is protection against mental suffering, psychological illnesses, generators of well-being, and quality of life. Self-esteem, the genuine ability, without shame or fear, to recognize the strengths and virtues that we possess.” – Walter Riso
Narcissistics exist, they aren’t 21st-century evolution, quite the contrary. Unfortunately, they can destroy lives, and put us living under the bridge, literally.
These people want to live life at the limit, and everything for them has to have an impact.
Researchers have shown that narcissistic people need constant adrenaline due to an alteration of the way their brains produce some chemical substances like, for example, serotonin.
Partners, children and friends, are seen as household appliances.
Their victims are those who have the power to forgive, the “mothers” and “fathers” who accept them and in return receive only crumbs of, affection.
Narcissists play a tough psychological game in which they turn the other person into their emotional junk. Although they are attracted to attractive, resilient, cheerful, understanding and tolerant people with a sense of humor, they have great difficulty in maintaining these relationships because envy is a feeling that is present and corroding.
Narcissists in romantic relationships:
- Everything has to happen faster;
- Lot’s of seduction and romanticism;
- The constant need to dazzle;
- Sex for them is like play tennis or go to the beach;
- For many, a first date will only be the first date, because the fantasy wasn’t there.
- Messages and constant phone calls based on fear to lose;
- Disappear, appear and disappear again;
- Everything is possible and only depends of them;
- The idealized notion of love;
- Everything is too good at the beginning of the relationship;
- Lack of desire for commitment;
- Lack of empathy;
- Betray and more betray to feed their ego and feel alive;
- Competition;
- Inconstancy and emotional instability;
- Envy towards partner;
If the relationship is over:
- Exhibition of personal information;
- Victimization;
- Exhaustive memory;
- Defamation;
- Perversity;
As many of us know these people usually go unpunished with the evil they do to others. They have the power to make innocents feel guilty. In the courts, we see so much of this.
Narcissists in family relationships:
- Pressure and emotional blackmail;
- Parents with lack of empathy;
- Parental envy. Parents who haven’t succeed sentimentally or professionally feel intense jealousy towards their children. They may even project their anger to their children because they haven’t been well-loved in their entire lives.
- Emotional and physical violence;
Narcissists in friendships:
- Only one talks, only one has problems;
- Friendship with many reticences;
- The constant need for comparison, their focus on life is negative and never satisfying. They can call you and talk for about two hours and never ask you how you are.
- They make you feel exhausted;
- Disposability;
- Lot’s of friends;
- False interest and concern;
Narcissists in online social media:
- Use of Facebook and other social media for body exposure;
- Cars, motorcycles, houses, and even diplomas are used to show how powerful and amazing their lives are;
- Catfishing or kittenfishing, this means they post out-of-date photos looking for attention, never showing how they are in the present;
- They spread how they feel emotionally through their online posts and even can use it to send subliminal messages to someone in particular;
- Victimization using personal information;
- Addiction to social media;
Deal with someone with two faces it’s a heroic act where you have to look after your well being, mostly if you are one woman, look after your maternal instincts.
Narcissistics are people with their inner child hurt, so it’s natural you feel compassion, and try to rescue them. Believe me when I say you can’t.
With time, they will sabotage your self-esteem and doesn’t matter if they are your partner parent or boss, they will try to induce you into one spiral of sorrow.
Run away from someone who isn’t able to look at their wounds. Run away from someone with toxic behavior, from someone who talks with you one day and disappears for a week or less. From someone who doesn’t look into your eyes for more than 3 seconds.
Escape from someone who makes you feel like you are living post-traumatic stress as soldiers experience after war. Some Narcissistics will make you feel like you need to be in constant vigilance, and tension, please seek professional help.
To conclude my article, let me ask one last thing, why narcissists are so afraid of commitment? Because, they have a deep fear of rejection, and because in one way or another, they hadn’t anyone to give them the necessary tools to deal with love, and feelings in general.
Always remember, in healthy relationships, people will make you feel secure no matter how hard times they are cross. People with emotional intelligence like I said many times if they need to leave for some reason will let you know what’s going on and they will come back. They won’t play emotional games.
Love is consistency, be present in good and bad moments.
Love is intimacy and bond.
From personal experience, it’s hard to deal with narcissistic people mostly when you don’t shut off your mouth, and you fight for your beliefs.
My best advice?
Always be who you are! The real YOU is the most effective gun against these predators.
Hope this help you,
with love,
Alexandra
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