The Dating process, The Mating process: Finding the Right Mirror to Reflect Your Real Beauty

“Your Flaws are perfect for the heart that is meant to love you”

There are a million cracked mirrors in the world that we can look at, and think we are ugly. When it comes to dating, the real dating, we are looking for someone a real mate that can stand next to us and help us to shine more brighter. I don’t understand, completely, the new dating world because I’m old fashion in these matters, and because I believe we all need a real love in our lives. Love can push us from our comfort zone and help us to identify our true selves.

Don’t we forget the real propose of dating? Don’t we take people usually for granted? Don’t we forget, often, to say to our partners how much we love them? Don’t we forget to wake up in the morning and be thankful that we have someone somewhere in the world that loves us for who we are?

While dating how much we laugh? How much we stay in the present moment and feel freedom to be ourselves? Do we recognize our partner as the mirror we need to envolve into our best selves? Can we be just “a child” with them?

The innocence attached to dating is gone, sadly. If you search on the web, you can find various articles, videos and, even schools where they teach men and women how to play emotional games. At the end of the line, everyone is hurting each other and hurting themselves.

No one is telling or educating you for the fact that you need to be seen by your partner that you need to feel their love and somehow their empowerment. No one is telling that you should stop doing the wrong things that keep kept away from receive the love you deserve. No one is telling you that you should reconfigure your participation in your relationship. As chic or poetry as it may sound the truth is the way we respond to our relationship dynamics can change the whole process of dating.

Give it a fighting chance. Give and allow yourself to have a fighting chance to be, really, happy.

Do you need to chase man? No! Does a man need to chase you? No! You just need to know how to “dance”.

Stop doing the wrong thing, means:

• Stop giving the excuse that you don’t have time;
• Replacing the “You did” for “I feel”;
• Say “I’m sorry”;
• Don’t be afraid to be bold;
• Not be upfront about your goals (someone who has the same goal as you won’t be scare);
• Not stating what you want because it’s the first date (telling what you want doesn’t mean you will drag the other person into your home and cage them);
• Don’t play or accept the game hot and cold;
• Don’t be a Peacock;
• Don’t be a Q girl or a Q boy;
• Don’t do the slow-fading (when you slowly wind down contact with the person you have been dating leaving longer between your replies)

The ability to love, the ability to be in a partnership is a mindset. You have been out there in the field knowing and acknowledging how is to be in a romantic relationship and so you know, you understand there will be down days and days that you will be mad at your partner. A partnership mindset allows us to be with someone in the highs and the lows.

If you see your partner confuse, please don’t do the typical reaction to their reactivity like asking your friends what’s going on. Don’t let assumptions assault your mind because, most of us, get tripped up by putting salt in our wounds thinking our partners are using us.

Remember, we all have our issues, and we want someone, but we are scared to disappoint that person. Sometimes we want to phone call our partners, but we don’t do it because we will look needy, or because we think they might not want us to call them. In the end of the line each one of you will make assumptions and feel disconnected from your partner.

Life and love are more than Black and White. There are so many gray layers that you should try to understand and learn how to decode.

The mirror that will reflect your real beauty is out there and like you have many flaws and many qualities, but you will love them because they aren’t scared of your true self.

With love,

Alexandra