© 2019 Alexandra Maria Santos.  All rights reserved

In today’s article, I will bring to Ouso Escrever one topic that I believe everyone had lived in past or is living in the present moment. Emotional Anorexia.

Before I start, I would like to thank you for your contribution to my website through your commentaries, and one warmest welcome to the new people that started following Ouso Escrever recently.

What is Emotional Anorexia?

Emotional anorexia means that you are in a state of emotional starvation. Just as irritability and anger happen when your blood glucose levels go down, when you don’t have enough “psychological sugar”, your emotional “blood levels” also decrease.

This situation is especially true for women who are out there working harder, who know who they are, and even with the bounces of life, they keep fighting for a better life no matter what. The truth is the continued exposure to stress and emotionally stressful situations, lead to a decrease in reserves of emotional and physical well-being.

What happens when the emotional reserves are empty?

  1. You swallow your needs and overdo;
  2. You experience a slow buildup of resentment and anger;
  3. You feel a deep irritation that results in an explosion of volcanic anger. This reaction is over small or even silly transgression, by your partner friends or people close to you;
  4. You are the “bad guy” because you bring old grievances instead of just keep things fun and light.

Does it mean you are wrong? Not really. It does mean you are doing too much and receiving less of what you deserve and is necessary for you. It means you want to be valued, loved, appreciated, and complimented, but you suppress these needs because of life demands. You suppress your needs because you want to see everyone you love happy and safe. Forming and maintaining one intimate relationship requires open communication, respect, and giving of oneself. One important principle of romantic relationships is each partner helps the other to achieve their needs, wants, and desires.

Explanations like distance, lack of time, and other typical allegations used by somewhat “self-centered” people are just the easy road for one woman to lose the respect and admiration she has towards her partner, family, and friends.

Let me ask you these questions:

  • Does your partner check up on you daily basis to know how you are?
  • Do you wish him or her to call you without you have to ask for it?
  • There is curiosity about how is your life involving? What are your dreams?
  • Do you see him or her more into a friend’s life and not in yours? (It happens more than recommended, some people to deny it call their partner’s freaks and with controlling or needy personalities.)
  • How many high fat negative emotions are you consuming in a day?

No one can make another person change. The responsibility to change rests in you.

Don’t nag, don’t yell, don’t treat badly and don’t lose your control.

Let me share this with you,

I am a descendent of people who have fought a lifetime against dishonesty and built their lives through the power of honest work. I carry their example with me, and this year was the hardest year of my life because I hate slutty behavior from men or women. I hate, and I can’t stand with lies and manipulation games, which I saw the entire year. There was no time to have a break, time to think about solutions, time to feel me and respect, my needs.

But what is the lesson I can take from it? First of all, don’t leave things unresolved before you die because the next generations will suffer from it.
Secondly, before you cheat your partner, use your balls or your vagina properly and talk about what and how you feel. Don’t be an asshole or a bitch replacing the importance of your partner in your life by other people.

Thirdly, if one partner can’t stand with you during hardships or use excuses as I wrote before, sooner or later, you will lose respect, admiration, and sexual desire. It’s how it works for me, and for most women that want a man for who they are and not what they have.

I want a man who is willing to take the lead, and exchange with me the old fashion promise rings, which means a high-level of soul interlocking.

I want a partner, a man who is curious about my life, who ask me questions and don’t find excuses to justify his absence. I want a man which I can call my home, the safe space where I can be myself. I want a man who knows where I stand and respect my beliefs, respect my life background, which he considers a sacred place.

Because I am strong doesn’t mean I don’t need attention, it doesn’t mean I don’t need protection, it doesn’t mean I don’t need to be loved. Because I am strong, I need more love, more protection, more emotional support, and understanding.

I am strong but I am tired, I’m tired of being out there fighting to clean the mess and providing safety to everyone.

Lastly, this year made me emotional starving, but I am alive. I’m healing my wounds, I’m stepping back from situations, and people from where I don’t receive what I deserve. I’m proud of myself, my capacity to love and overcome hardships. I understood, after all, I will always have the most precious treasure in my life, me.

My advice for you, don’t swallow the high-fat emotions when it hits your tongue, spit it out. Don’t forget to understand your emotional triggers. Don’t silent your needs, but don’t blame who you love, instead find new healthy ways to love the dark moments in your life. Part of the process of being resilient is resisting the temptation to complain.

Be brave, be you, and don’t forget to fulfill your emotional tank with good emotions.

Find joy, be the joy!

I wish you a wonderful weekend.

With love,


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12 comentários

  1. EMotion is Energy in Motion. You bring up a wonderful point. For so long the ideals of psychology have focused on the rational, the thoughts versus emotions. Most that I come across are emotionally illiterate, or even worst, cut off and numb. Emotions bring passion to life, they also cut deeply to the core of our essence. Sit with the Things you want put forest those things you do not want. By focusing the power of EMotion through the perceptive lens of our desires, we do manifest great things and people to come to our lives an share the sacred journey with us. Thank you for sharing this wonderful post.


  2. I never thought of it that way… “Because I am strong, I need more love, more protection, more emotional support, and understanding.” Thank you for making this point. You’ve changed the way I think about my needs xx

    Liked by 1 person


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