The Buddhists say without mud, there is no lotus. They also defend having a big mind means you can share your adverse experiences by either talking or writing with no filter because you see it as a way to improve yourself.

Because we are so close to Christmas now, I decided it was the right time to write about one topic that has been the pain of my ass all this year. I’m not doing it because I want to talk about my private life, so far from that. I want to show you when it’s time to let things go and when it’s time to say no to people, even if they are family.

I believe you know that being a farmer and have a farm is one of the toughest jobs because unpredictability is part of the game. You can’t control the weather for sure, and human actions either. I can describe to you Alexandra as one tough woman, someone who knows what she wants and where she is going.

I love agriculture it requires you to have a strong personality, good emotional and cognitive characteristics because when failure is there for some reason, you have to recover from it and keep going with your chin up. Dignity and integrity is the key.

Those who are resilient are able to believe in themselves and their ability to effectively manage life’s challenges. So, my two questions are:

1. What if people with or without your blood try to sabotage your work with schemes?
2. Will laws protect you?

I will start to answer the second question Laws won’t protect you. Why? Personally, 2019 was lived to pay debts made by my father in the name of the company. He made purchases, investments without being the manager of the company. I am the manager, and my name was in the middle of this complete mess, even without my signature. Another question is, shouldn’t suppliers make sure that the individual who is purchasing things for the company has the power to do so? Shouldn’t laws and courts be more attentive to these issues? Where is the obligation of the contract signature? Where is the justice?

To be more precise, this man has developed narcissists traits during the years, he cheated on my mother and led a thriving business to bankruptcy. Feels like him and his friends dictate the law, and everyone has to kiss the ground he steps on. Exactly what I never did or will do. 

What if people with or without your blood try to sabotage your work with schemes? Well, this is one intricate question because if in the beginning, you try to manage things because you have blood relations when things get worse, and there is a perpetuation of toxic behaviors, you say goodbye.

When you feel inside your gut that people try to sabotage your work because they act based on personal conflicts, and waves of anger against your ancestors, you have to raise your sword and fight with fair play. It’s hard because there is so much corruption out there, people will think you are crazy, you are reading to many novels. But I’m sorry to disappoint you, in real life, in business, there is no space for unicorns or pink colors.

I’m so fucking tired, so emotional drained, but I did a stupendous work because I could solve most of the problems. To be a businesswoman, an investor, especially in this field, means you have to know how to separate “brandy” from work. There are no friends, no acquaintances, or family. In business and money, there is no room for feelings or emotions.

Alexandra doesn’t have the patience to deal with people who don’t know what they want or where they are going.
All these and other circumstances of life led me to one point where I’m very demanding when it comes to intimate relationships and about who I allow in my life.

For me, a weak man is someone who doesn’t keep his word and feed emotional bullshit outside the relationship. It is someone who doesn’t pay attention to my passions and what makes me alive with butterflies in the stomach.

The best lesson of this year for life? I have to remain who I am. Accept breadcrumbing will only lead to resentment. I have to shine even more in this world. I can always achieve what I want because the real power resides in me. I understood partnership is one important stone in my life, although I denied this for too long while I was healing my emotional wounds, I always wanted to have a healthy intimate relationship.

All these situations made me realize how much I want to be a mother and start a new life where I can be who I am and leave my mark because of who I am. Not because I am the daughter or granddaughter of somebody else.

I never had afraid to start from zero, I will do it again because I deserve so much better, and who genuinely loves me will be with me on that journey.

No matter how tough is the storm, the sun is waiting for you. You’re the sun, the world your red carpet.

With love,


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17 comentários

  1. having a business with family is more complicated, i feel. they feel they have special privileges because they are family and nothing will be done.

    people assume if someone is doing something for the business, then they are ok to do so. the best protection is to have instructions as to who can only do some things with vendors and if they dont follow, then change vendors if possible,

    business should be business and there should be no family or friendships as problems arise when people think they are friends etc. business/work is just that. there has to be separation.

    i feel we all want to have a good personal/intimate relationship. i hope you find yours. just keep your options open.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Buddy,

      thank you for your commentary.

      For me, the problem is that I see business as a business, and as a businesswoman, my vision is we should look after what is new and leave old structures or beliefs.
      In Portugal, women still face some challenges when it comes to being the manager of one company, but the truth is most successful farming companies are lead by women. I dug up a lot of crap and ended up connections that were nothing but a ruin in financial matters.

      I would do everything again, because I don’t have afraid at all of anything or anyone.

      The principal trait I appreciate in one man is the capacity to take the lead and have balls enough to be by my side during tough moments. If so, he has me!

      This article is a serious warning that we should be careful and protect us, a life test.


      1. Business is a business. Yes it’s still hard for women anywhere in this world to be seen as The same as a man in business. It should not matter who runs the business as long as it’s run well.

        And the trait you see in a man should be with anybody man or woman.

        You should not be afraid of anyone.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Gosh, you have been through a lot. And I agree that it is a bad idea either to go into business with family or close friends. It shouldn’t be the case – you should be able to trust – but it often destroys relationships. BTW, you’ll be an amazing mother!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your commentary.

      I believe we can have business with family or close friends when they are emotionally healthy. The dangerous point here is when justice is blind, and people act like there is no law only to hurt and annihilate you.
      I could have written so much more about this, but I think I gave you the main message. Do your best to protect your business, but don’t forget to protect yourself.

      I believe I will be an amazing mother, at least I know I will love them with all my heart, and give the right education, and values.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. “I have to shine even more in this world. I can always achieve what I want because the real power resides in me.”

    Shine. It is through the mud, that the lotus sprouts. It is through the ash work, that the glowing ember of the soul will unite the person to awaken their passion. Make room for the ember to ignite light within, and enjoy every step of the journey. Thank you for sharing this.


    1. Thank you for your commentary, Tom.

      I believe it’s so important to share these sorts of experiences to heal and even help other people in the same circumstances. Not all have the same strong background or personality that I have, so I share this to make sure that everything is possible even if that means to start from zero again.

      Your words, right now, mean the world to me.

      Thank you!


      Liked by 1 person


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