Yesterday, 1th June, was the World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day Established in 2016. I decided only to write about it today for two main reasons. The reason number one I am a survivor of this type of abuse, and secondly, because it will be a personal post, I wanted to make sure that I would be able to provide insightful education about this topic.
For you, who follows my blog from the very beginning, I believe you do understand that I am an advocate of sincerity, compassion, and real love/intimacy connections. My brain can’t process how and why people play games, and why others, teach these people to play those games. We, human beings, are living the apocalypse of emotional bankruptcy, which seems socially acceptable to exist.
In the last twenty years of my life, I’ve been the target of consecutive emotional abuse, smear campaigns (which are abuse also), and other sorts of emotional manipulations, that in “normal” circumstances would lead me to commit suicide. But exceptionally, and thanks to my personality, I have remained firm and loyal to my goals, and my life.
I wrote here in the past that my father is abusive, a pure narcissist that destroyed our family in all areas, and alienated my mother by controlling her through financial dependency. These people suck the good on you, punch your soul, and in the eyes of society, they are the saviors of the motherland. I became his target because I discovered he was cheating on my mother, that he was embezzling the company’s money to feed his mistress and luxurious life.
This pathological behavior can destroy your entire life because of the law and medical system, and even some therapists don’t recognize narcissism as a crime.
Now, why are we living the dawn of the dating apocalypse? Social media and dating apps are the center stage for narcissists and other unavailable emotional forms of people to seek their fresh supply. These platforms allow these individuals to construct a very convincing and compelling false mask that lures potential targets into various scams. A majority of online dating users have been shown to have profiles that stray from the truth in some capacity (Wood, 2012).
Our current hookup culture and the rise of online dating apps have made emotional unavailability a new normal (Garcia, et. al 2012). That’s why we see so many people feeling entitled to all the benefits of one intimate relationship without actually being in one. Older and younger generations are becoming accustomed to the idea of having another date or rebound at their fingertips, without doing the inner work of healing from past relationships or their self-esteem.
Men and women “lash out” into a new partner without grieve or learn from past mistakes proclaiming their love for the new source of supply.
I never used dating apps to meet or date people, but two years ago, I decided to give it a try, and through OkCupid, I meet my ex-partner. What was, I thought, a stable relationship became a nightmare last 3rd of January when he discarded me. I was literally on the other side of the world, without my family and friends, just with him and his family, and after many commentaries that upset me, he decided it was over. From the goddess on the pedestal, I became the piece of crap, the unnecessary toy.
After five months of our break up, he is back to the dating scene, which leads to the question: who is the emotionally healthy person that after a relationship of two years will seek right away a new relationship? I know this because the last time I went on Facebook, I received a notification that he added a woman from another nationality again. (The show must go on)
Since January, I have been working on myself with the help of my therapist because I was emotionally drained and exhausted. This beautiful tall woman has been in the first row of the battle. Fighting, helping, giving who she truly is. The only social media page I have, Facebook, I left it for good. I don’t want to see or hear bullshit because this is my moment, and my time to heal.
To conclude my article, I would like to say to you this: never be ashamed of who you are. For those of you who had narcissistic fathers or mothers, you will be a magnet to emotionally unavailable people and narcissists themselves. We can’t diagnose these individuals, but we always can seek information from credible sources that will help us to identify the red flags.
Women and Men are here to live a real-life and full experience where compassion and understanding should be the key to harmonize intimate and social connections. Remember, you are worthy of a great and healthy relationship that begins within yourself. If you are a highly sensitive or an empath person like I am, understand that not all people have your integrity or transparency. Not all people have the ability to sense the surrounding energies and empathy to wear your shoes.
One trained therapist in these areas will help you to understand how your brain works and how you should avoid cognitive dissonance.
Forms of emotional abuse in online/offline dating:
Don’t buy online dating, don’t buy any kind of shitty treatment!
Wish you well,