After the end of one relationship, be it with a narcissist or a regular individual, it is imperative to take a long break from the dating world and acknowledge what needs to be changed.
We, human beings, need connections the most, but I am an active advocate that we also lose amazing partners because of familiarity with toxic blindness.
Toxic blindness happens when your brain sends you signals that your partner is boring because of the absence of the trigger for the emotional roller coaster that is required to feel the familiar passion.

“Familiar passion” is the reason why many men and women dump good partners. The ambivalent love they experienced in their childhood through their parents programmed their brain to recognize consistency, kindness, and compassion from a prospective partner as a turn-off. Because the thrill of the chase in this dynamic is absent, which in reality erodes real connections to happen, they will seek out more familiar targets even if they remain single forever.

I would like you to understand that everything has a contribution to how we perceive love, even our hormones. And talking about hormones, the honeymoon phase for emotionally unavailable individuals are way shorter than for the rest of the population. Their propendency to addiction leads them to believe once the honeymoon phase wears off, they don’t love their partner anymore and so they have to replace the person.

Listen to this video with attention and take care of your heart and soul.

With love,

Alexandra

“Here are the reasons why taking a break from dating can help us to sort through other issues, so that when we get back in the saddle, there’s a chance of relationships going in better directions:

1. Relationships can be re-traumatizing.

2. Dysfunctional relationships prevent personal growth.

3. Relationships interfere with psychotherapy.

4. Relationships can keep us from doing what we really want to do.

5. Letting ourselves get pulled into familiar relationships can prevent us from finding new relationships.

Source: Psychology Today

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16 comentários

    1. That was so “gay” but so true. 😉 The reality is we have to slow down and feel. When one relationship ends, what can we learn from it? Enjoy our own company and learn how to be a partner for ourselves.

      People who do have avoidant attachment styles jump from one relationship to another without look inwards. Their partners are the ones to blame, and all this thing around the technology is creating more avoidant and narcissistic individuals.

      Have a lovely week! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  1. So right! I hope the next time I date someone, I’ll get past this want for a roller coaster feeling. After all, I want a secure relationship but since I think my attachment style is anxious, I tend to get hooked with people who play games. 🤦‍♀️ I stopped dating for a long time now and am focusing on myself. 🙂 It feels great and I think I’m slowly loosing that anxiousness although am really preparing myself not to think about someone too much once I start dating again. Lol talk about an anxious one =))

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Camille,

      Never feel guilty for not jump in another relationship after the end of one. People who do that, and this is my opinion, cannot stay alone because they don’t want to face the issues and void inside. At least, we should take a year break from dating to grief, the relationship/connection, to respect and honor the person we had an attachment.

      Men or women who go to dating apps short after a breakup, they aren’t ready to have a meaningful and mature relationship. Those are the ones with avoidant/fearful attachment styles, mostly.

      Take care of yourself, always! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Right, I tried dating apps before and indeed, there are a lot of avoidant types there! It’s better to wait and establish yourself first (especially for us who like to keep things real and not just play games) than to dive into that pool of avoidant people.

        Take care as well! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Camille,

        Camille,

        Try to meet people organically and close to your area, so then you see their actions and not only their texts/words. I know there are plenty of stories of couples that got to know each other through online dating, but how do we know they are happy? It can be possible, yes, but both parties have to be ready for a relationship.

        Online dating should be another way to meet people, and not the only one.

        I met my ex in one of those apps, but I was real, I wanted a real relationship, and a real relationship is all about consistency. He went too fast and then couldn’t sustain when it all came real.

        Things that we learn!

        Gostar

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