Slow Down To Wake Up!

In my previous articles, I decided to share personal information because, like me, many women and even men are experiencing hardships or trauma events. Unfortunately, not all of us have the strength or the ability to use stress coping strategies to deal with life challenges.

The more I live, the more I believe how some individuals are so ungrateful to have amazing partners, children, and friends in their lives. It is unbelievable the number of games and strategies they use to destroy or erode relationships. Some do it consciously, others unconsciously.

In the second week of January, I had for the very first time in my life, a nervous breakdown after being exposed for so long to constant stressful events at work, and responsibilities.
And yes, the end of my intimate relationship, as I have already reported here, was the last drop of water that made the glass overflow. I felt literally dead and emotionally listless.

I can recall the first symptoms around June/July of 2019 because I was always tired, had insomnia episodes, and a deep desire to eat things with sugar. Besides that, I was emotional and physically harassed by my father and his friends. And here, here I call your attention to seek information about narcissism, smear campaigns, and flying monkeys. This shit is real and can destroy your health and the most precious thing that lives within you, life!

I am a strong woman, I don’t let people put me down, and I can deal with stress events well. But this time, there was something different. I felt a void I felt anger, I felt betrayed, I felt lost, abandoned and deep sadness. So I decided to seek professional help, but this time in trauma, emotional abuse, and loss.

As my therapist told me, throughout my life, I have been the woman who goes ahead and has goals. Those around me, end up leaning on me, and when I needed their support, they couldn’t provide it, or they ran away because it was too much. That’s why we should slow down and look around us, watch actions, not words. Because with the demands of life, we got easily distracted and go with the flow. We think we have support and love, when in fact, we don’t have at all.

“It is also important to be aware that even if you have had a secure attachment style from childhood, this style could deviate in the direction of having a fearful style if you subsequently experience a major loss, such as the death of a parent, or if you are otherwise traumatized (e.g., violent crime, or being in a long-term, emotionally abusive relationship.)”

Life isn’t a game. Humans beings aren’t toys that we use today, and tomorrow we don’t want because we don’t feel the limerence anymore. Human beings deserve respect, compassion, and deep feelings of love and understanding. Why is this so hard for some individuals to understand?

Why are we keeping alive this fucking game where dishonesty and unfaithfulness are the master keys of this society? Why are we protecting emotional abuse towards healthy people, and not punishing bad behavior? It is a sickness!

Abuse seems to be the new norm in the modern but not so fashion society.

In my recovery process, I was obliged to quit my job, file a criminal complaint against my father for emotional abuse, violence, and our company’s money misappropriation. I also had to remove my presence from social media, establish three days a week to go swimming. Reconnect with who I am, close friends, and family.

When your body is screaming to you is time to leave, accept and move forward because life is short to waste time with things and individuals that don’t see who you are because their inner turmoil is too intense to make them see the light.

To finish my article, I would like to share with you a video from one man, who has a strong voice. The warm voice with traces of sweetness.

Time and Time again, by Nick J Wood

With love,

Alexandra