In my previous articles, I decided to share personal information because, like me, many women and even men are experiencing hardships or trauma events. Unfortunately, not all of us have the strength or the ability to use stress coping strategies to deal with life challenges.

The more I live, the more I believe how some individuals are so ungrateful to have amazing partners, children, and friends in their lives. It is unbelievable the number of games and strategies they use to destroy or erode relationships. Some do it consciously, others unconsciously.

In the second week of January, I had for the very first time in my life, a nervous breakdown after being exposed for so long to constant stressful events at work, and responsibilities.
And yes, the end of my intimate relationship, as I have already reported here, was the last drop of water that made the glass overflow. I felt literally dead and emotionally listless.

I can recall the first symptoms around June/July of 2019 because I was always tired, had insomnia episodes, and a deep desire to eat things with sugar. Besides that, I was emotional and physically harassed by my father and his friends. And here, here I call your attention to seek information about narcissism, smear campaigns, and flying monkeys. This shit is real and can destroy your health and the most precious thing that lives within you, life!

I am a strong woman, I don’t let people put me down, and I can deal with stress events well. But this time, there was something different. I felt a void I felt anger, I felt betrayed, I felt lost, abandoned and deep sadness. So I decided to seek professional help, but this time in trauma, emotional abuse, and loss.


As my therapist told me, throughout my life, I have been the woman who goes ahead and has goals. Those around me, end up leaning on me, and when I needed their support, they couldn’t provide it, or they ran away because it was too much. That’s why we should slow down and look around us, watch actions, not words. Because with the demands of life, we got easily distracted and go with the flow. We think we have support and love, when in fact, we don’t have at all.

“It is also important to be aware that even if you have had a secure attachment style from childhood, this style could deviate in the direction of having a fearful style if you subsequently experience a major loss, such as the death of a parent, or if you are otherwise traumatized (e.g., violent crime, or being in a long-term, emotionally abusive relationship.)”

Life isn’t a game. Humans beings aren’t toys that we use today, and tomorrow we don’t want because we don’t feel the limerence anymore. Human beings deserve respect, compassion, and deep feelings of love and understanding. Why is this so hard for some individuals to understand?

Why are we keeping alive this fucking game where dishonesty and unfaithfulness are the master keys of this society? Why are we protecting emotional abuse towards healthy people, and not punishing bad behavior? It is a sickness!

Abuse seems to be the new norm in the modern but not so fashion society.

In my recovery process, I was obliged to quit my job, file a criminal complaint against my father for emotional abuse, violence, and our company’s money misappropriation. I also had to remove my presence from social media, establish three days a week to go swimming. Reconnect with who I am, close friends, and family.

When your body is screaming to you is time to leave, accept and move forward because life is short to waste time with things and individuals that don’t see who you are because their inner turmoil is too intense to make them see the light.

To finish my article, I would like to share with you a video from one man, who has a strong voice. The warm voice with traces of sweetness.

Time and Time again, by Nick J Wood

With love,

Alexandra

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30 comentários

  1. It must have been really hard that such things came from the environment that should protect you. I can relate closely. You aren’t just strong, but also very brave woman. For filing a criminal charge against your father. I can’t imagine how hard this must have been. It’s not the same like if it was for some stranger.
    You picked up some very good questions, especially about protecting the abuse. I have my own answer to this. Because people were raised this or sometimes because it’s easier this way. I might be wrong, though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Dear Maja,

      It was hard and not so hard because the moment I decide I have to do something, I do it for good. One of the reasons why I went to therapy was also to dissociate the image of my father in this present moment, from the father who raised me.

      With this technique, I could grief correctly the father who died in the accident and accept that this man now only save in his body the dark side of his personality.

      I feel so much better right now that I don’t feel the need either to eat sugar.
      Unfortunately, society interprets abuse only in the sexual or physical sense, but what’s going on right now out there, is emotional abuse. And this form of abuse is more corrosive and destructive because it is invisible.

      One big hug for you ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I really admire your level of common sense and rational thinking. When I read the comment it sounds so easy. I can imagine the reality only from my point of view and these kind of things I just can’t imagine as easy.

        I’m really glad you’re better now. You reflect a person who came through all this even stronger.
        One big hug for you too 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Maja,

        Our life journey is in our service to our growth. I can’t say it was all the time easy, but besides my height and I am tall, my soul became even taller.

        I was feeling so tired, so exhausted, and this is the reason why I was so confused and hurt by the breakup. I thought I had a real partner by my side, but in reality, I had an illusion because of my reflection.

        Lesson number one in dating:
        1. Learn how to be your amazing partner, to find a good one when you feel ready!

        Big hug! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I mixed up comments and replied to previous one once more, even though I knew I’m having this one waiting (: sorry for the mess.
        And thanks again for your detailed replies. I like your dating advice, all of them so far.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Alexandra, thank you for including my video piece, your article is enlightening and sadly familiar to many. The pressures on us all these days are many and there’s only so much stress we all can take. After that something has to give and something has to change, but with change so comes a new way of life, a new renewed direction and happiness. The strength to make those improvements that you have shown is a huge testiment to you and your intelligence. It’s great to connect with your work and the insight you offer. Nick

    Gostar

    1. Dear Nick,

      Thank you so much for your commentary, and I am so glad to have you here.

      Like my grandfather used to say to me: You are very tall, very human, very brave, but never forget that you are a woman who needs and deserves real love, respect, and companionship!

      By the way, I love the tone of your voice.

      Have a lovely day!

      Alexandra

      Liked by 1 person

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