I know that, like me, there are in this world many women and men who had or still have a narcissistic father or mother in their lives. And in many cases, what happens is. Or we turn into a narcissist, or we become a person with deep empathy.
Fortunately, for myself and my bother, we had the lucky gift of having one wonderful grandfather who did the fatherhood role in our lives. For that reason, I don’t see myself as a victim. Instead, I have a strong personality, deep empathy, and also the clinic eye to understand what’s going on around me and others. That’s why I have this place here.
I will never regret how much love I gave in my life to other people, even if it was too much. I will never regret the amazing heart that I possess, and also the qualities so necessary in today’s world as consistency, availability, honesty, and self-worth. When you suffered abuse (emotional in my case), your brain changes, your body change, and you grow up out of the norm. The world, people, situations, and relationships are perceived differently. Easily you identify lies, inconsistent non-verbal communication, and negative energy that can drain your vitality.
Yes, I am a woman who needs nature to recharge, I don’t give a fuck about what other people think, and yes, you are not alone in this world. Never blame yourself because you dated wrong people, understand they are the catalyst to healing internal wounds that we may possess.
Yes, I am the daughter of a narcissistic father, but that is just a little single part of the human being I am today. Was it hard? Yes, it was! I came from hell, literally. But I am here, alive, and so you will be.
Find a good therapist who is specialized in trauma bond or narcissistic abuse to understand your pain and how you feel. Feel free to remove them from your life and never look back.
Understand that when you experience love from a healthy partner, you will give back that love in double. Some will be frightened, but communication is the key. And if they decide to leave, don’t chase.
As Dr. Anoushka Marcin or even Dr. Ramani explain in their videos, maybe you heard your entire life that you were too dramatic, too intense, or sensitive. Don’t let their inability to understand who you are even after you explained, to play a cognitive dissonance in how you perceive reality. I heard this shit my entire life, and after my awakening, oh dear God, please save the world because no one will stop me now.
Use your abilities to succeed in life for you, use your success and your story to educate the world. Never seek revenge and never, ever allow anyone to dictate your self-worth.
Take care of your heart and soul, and maybe, we will find love in someone who has the same level of empathy as us. Till there, be the best partner you can for yourself.
With all my love,
Alexandra
Meus pais não tiveram acesso a uma educação digna. Meu pai era um homem rude e me ensinou algumas coisas, mas foi graças a minha mãe, que era “toda” coração, me tornei um homem bom!
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Olá Ricardo,
Infelizmente, é uma realidade que afecta a forma como crescemos e percepcionamos mais tarde o mundo. Falando da minha experiência, atingi um nível de maturidade e inteligência emocional que para a grande maioria é difícil de acompanhar. Por outro lado, quando falamos de relacionamentos íntimos e agora com trinta e cinco anos, após muito trabalho de auto-conhecimento e auxilio terapêutico. O meu cérebro devido à transformação que sofreu com o correr dos anos, não vive o estado inicial de entusiasmo hormonal proporcionado por um relacionamento novo. Ou seja, eu não vivo o estágio de Imago relationship, como falamos em psicologia. Vejo a pessoa como ela é, e é daí que faço a escolha de permanecer na relação ou não.
Contudo, tens pessoas que saltam de relação em relação porque estão, na verdade, aditivas ao estado de limerencia. Por isso, quando esse estado passa, deixam o parceiro ou parceira como se nada fosse.
Com tudo isto e porque já estou a falar muito sobre mim, o que quero dizer é: Porque vivemos abuso emocional não significa que estamos condenados para o resto da vida, pelo contrário. Quanto mais consciência tivermos desse abuso, maior será a nossa facilidade em encontrar mecanismos saudáveis de prosperar na vida. Nascemos e morremos para ser felizes e é isto que é necessário ter em mente.
Um beijo e tem um excelente dia 🙂
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Feliz que se sinta segura pra falar sobre si abertamente! Forte abraço! 🙂
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😉
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Dr. Ramani has good videos. Another good one is Dr. Les Carter (on youtube) with his videos on Narcissism.
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Thank you for your commentary 🙂
Have a lovely weekend!
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Very good post! The last three paragraphs almost made me want to cheer out loud. You ARE worthwhile! Even if you’ve repeatedly been told otherwise, or criticized, or minimized. Live your life, your way. DARE to dream—and then GO for it. 🙂
One other thing that I wish was more FULLY addressed in Blogs, Videos and the entire “living with , or escaping-from Narcissim” discussion is—-
Sadly, there seems to be farrr to much talk, AFTER you’ve moved-out from , or gone NO Contact with, the Narcissist….about….how we are still “IN Recovery”, even years later?!? Let’s make more of an intentional/aware effort online, to share strategies and stories of Recover-Y, not always still recover-ING.
While it can take time to Heal, please, lets GET Healed, rather than always be heal-ING. And then. feel some JOY, in living our own lives, with accomplishments and happiness. I would like to see much more awareness and discussion of that.
Along with that, if we are always on our way TO recovery, but not recov-ERD, then will we ever love again with someone new? We deserve to, so lets get there. And get back in the game. Still being “on our way TO wholeness” isnt quite cutting it. Yes, it is moving in the right direction. But we want to be RESTORED—and start feeling JOY. PS—someone else who is good with videos on coping with Nariccism is DR. Les Carter, on Youtube. Peace! –theOwl30
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I do love your commentary and I will write more about it, you can be sure!
Take good care of yourself ❤
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