As I wrote in the article, what babies can teach us about love and life, the world will never cry for the unborn babies but for the ones who don’t have emotionally mature parents to educate, protect and love them adequately. More than subjecting our choices of having or not children to the kinetic society wills, we need to understand whether in our life journey if we have reached the level of maturity to put in this world. Someone so innocent and harmless, who will need us to survive and healthy growth.
Motherhood: Are children for me?
And for you?
Have a baby, raise a child is more than just the genes perpetuation. It is a self-conscious choice and also the discernment to understand that I want a baby not because I am afraid to be alone. But because have children means I was a good parent and partner for myself, and besides financial security. I know I can provide love, emotional support, and protection.
My life was never a straight line. In fact, the tight curves were the necessary experiences that made me sure around the age of 22 that I wanted to be a mother. Rokitansky and other events made me grow faster and perceive life with another perspective because we evolve and change through hard events in life. And although this may be strange to say, after having my oocyte cryopreservation, I don’t depend on either a timeline or a man to have a family. Being a mother should never be synonymous with despair or fear.
We, women, should never need a man. We should want him and have him in our lives because we love who he is and because we are prepared for a mature loving relationship. We should never get married, have relationships. Or kids because others expect it to happen.
We should think about how we were treated as children, and whether the child that still exists within us is hurt. What do we need to be happy for real? Cars, houses? Jewelry and a sexy man waiting for us in bed? Do we need to hear from others the typical question: “Oh, you are getting old, will you have kids?”
I am thirty-five years old, but internally, my organs are fifteen years younger, which is amazing. And one of the things my doctor told me, and he is like a father for me, that we should never put our lives on hold because of somebody else’s whim. Of course, I want to have a traditional family and make the motherhood journey with someone I do love and love me back in a mature way. But if life has given me other options and because I am sure of what my goals are, I will never put my life and dreams on hold for anyone. As an example, the actress Cameron Diaz had her first daughter at the age of 47.
Date consciously and date your peers, men or women, who have the same sight direction as you do. People who do desire the same life, and can stand by your side during the good times but also the challenge moments. Your kids and your future family will thank you for that. As I said, have a baby is more than spread our genes, is have a human being who will need the best of you to succeed and survive in this amazing, but at the same time crazy world.
We don’t need golden or scapegoat children. We need children with the necessary tools to become healthy adults, and that depends on us, parents, to give them all of that.