In today’s article, I would like to deconstruct and destigmatize this idea that we, women, shouldn’t talk about sex and even discuss it openly, not only for empower but also to adjust emotional and physical needs when it comes to sexual intercourse. Sex is one of the ways to bond and attach with our romantic partners, where the production of hormones like oxytocin and dopamine happen to intensify that bond. Oxytocin is a hormone and neurotransmitter that is also involved in childbirth, breast-feeding, empathy, and trust. And can also explain and help us to understand why for women, breakups and betrayal are such emotional turmoil.
Either you are in one long-term relationship or having a casual fling, oxytocin will be released anyway. So while it might help you bond with the love of your life, it’s also the reason you may feel so miserable when a short-term relationship ends.
Although we are experiencing what we can call an evolutionary civilization where women are achieving more equality and quality balance in areas of life such as education and careers, many are unhappy and feeling unfulfilled in their sexual and relationship matters.
But why this happens? Sexuality remains infused with pressure and shame for many people, who chose to cope with it in one avoidant style to south their anxiety and sexual problems. To explain this, I will give this example. Not long ago, I saw a presentation where a famous psychologist said that women who don’t produce that much lubrification, men will lose interest in pursuing sexual intercourse with them. Which lead me to two questions:
- If this is true, women who are experiencing menopause, low levels of estrogen because of stress or because they had to remove uterus and ovaries, Vaginismus, Rokystanky, and other sorts of issues. Or no issues at all but just lack of lubrification, can’t have satisfying sexual lives or romantic relationships?
- Are we choosing the right people to have intimate relationships?
Lack of lubrification happens in any age, to any woman, and it doesn’t necessarily mean or is a synonym of sexual health problems. It can be a rush into sexual intercourse without enough foreplay and can be emotional/sexual unmeet needs inside the partnership or a lack of understanding of how the body works. Either way, you shouldn’t stay in silence and never allow sexual intimacy to become a painful interaction. Both you and your partner must enjoy sex, and none of you should be the martyr to satisfy the other. And please, I urge you, seek professional help in your location that will provide the necessary tools and information to cope with your situation.
How Lubricant can transform your sexual life?
- Lubricant makes women and men’s genitals more erotically sensitive
- It can help offset some issues that affect your natural lubrification
- Decrease painful friction
- There are lubes designed exclusively if you have a sensitive vagina
- Because you have to use artificial lubricant it doesn’t make you less of a woman
- Lubrification introduce new sensations during sex
- It will make your relationship stronger because the right man will work together with you as a team to avoid unnecessary discomfort, but also provide the pleasure that you deserve.
I am thirty-five years old, and I do use lube.
Sexual activities are one of the most amazing things that we can experience in our lives, either alone or with the right partner. I was lucky to born in one family where topics such as sex and everything around it were never a taboo. Sex should always be one healthy experience and never one addiction. Sex is one of the most beautiful ways that we express our inner nature, so why should we feel shame about it? Why should we remain in silence when that experience is unpleasant?
Because the other person might run away and blame you because you couldn’t lubricate? Then the question should be, why I need this relationship or this person?
Vaginal dryness isn’t just for older women but can become a real issue that will interfere with your self-esteem and self-confidence.
Note: Men who experience discomfort with the usage of condoms can apply lube in the glans before the insert of the condom, which will increase sensations and normal sensitivity during sex.
Have a wonderful weekend,