- Give yourself a break:
Let’s be honest and clear, while we are in a relationship, the last thing we expect is a breakup. Breakups can be extremely excruciating, mostly when it happens out of the blue. Men or women who experienced a breakup are experiencing the death of a connection, the loss of their person, and an irreparable breach of trust that will be hard to reconstruct. So be gentle and give yourself a break.
- There is no Timeline for Moving On:
The healing process isn’t a linear path. There will be days that you will feel great and others that you feel lost in the middle of a war. During this time, avoid examining what went wrong in the relationship, because you don’t need answers now. Instead, surround yourself with good close friends, family and allow your emotions to flow.
- You don’t understand the Breakup and that’s ok:
Sometimes you won’t understand why your relationship ended, because it isn’t about you or your capacity to love another human being.
- Things will change:
Relationships change, people change, and that’s ok. Maybe you will be the one that will say one day that the relationship and your partner weren’t meeting your needs. So you will be thankful for this breakup.
- The Breakup doesn’t define who you are:
Believe it or not, most of the time, the end of one relationship says more about your partner than about you. So don’t let this event define how worthy or lovable you are.
- You Still have a future:
You have a dream and a bright future waiting for you. Every partner we meet in our lives is a vehicle to remind us how wonderful are our dreams. And they are possible to achieve. Be resilient, keep trying because, in this magnificent world, there is someone else who wants the same as you do.
- Don’t give them your friendship:
Might sound counterintuitive what I will write, but when a breakup occurs, don’t give them your friendship.
They want to have a friendship with you because they like you, don’t want to lose you, and because you gave a positive input in their lives. But the reality is if they decided to end the relationship because the task was too much, or they didn’t feel the same about you. Why should you give them friendship?
What you did or gave to them was what I call girlfriend or partner territory, and that cookie is gone since the moment they broke up with you.
Unless you have kids together, be friendly, not a friend.
- Forgive yourself to heal:
The biggest reason why we lose great relationships and partners in our lives is that we jump from one relationship to another without forgiveness. We need to forgive ourselves, our ex-partners, and past relationships. When we don’t forgive, we don’t heal, and so after the end of the new relationship honeymoon phase, projections, misunderstandings, and repetitive bad behaviors will lead to another breakup or unfilled relationship.
In the art of loving, we have to accept and acknowledge that we will get hurt, I am sorry, but this is the truth. So my dear readers, before you blame yourself for the end of your relationship, think that maybe they left because you were someone they could love. And never, ever pour oceans of love for someone who only wants arid deserts and mountains.