Some women and men, when their intimate relationships are over, tend to take all the blame and responsibility. But very few in the heat of the moment ask themselves if the person who left them was the right husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. They want to give it another try, maybe explore other possibilities, and why not, professional counseling. Whatever is the case, the reality is that we are living a period where the majority of intimate relationships are shallow. This scenario should be acknowledged to break the emotional chains in which many individuals are tied.

In the recent past, I have seen this scenario leading people to unnecessary heartbreaks: A woman or a man meets someone that seems incredible. The first moments are amazing. The initial phase of the relationship is phenomenal, and everything seems to go in the right direction.
But then, all of a sudden, the fall from the cliff arrives. They can’t do it with you anymore, and desperately you want to understand why. You want a reason for it because everything they tell is vague. And here you are, crying, wondering and ruminating weeks, months and even years about what went wrong.

Let me ask you this: Are you a crazy person?

If your answer is no, I do have another question for you: Do you know what intimacy is?

Intimacy means: Into me, you see!

So if you are a great partner, kind-hearted individual, you know how to sustain a relationship, and you educate yourself. Don’t create inside your mind the false narrative that must be something wrong with you, because your relationships tend to fail. Instead, look at the situation and analyze it to your advantage following the steps below:

  1. Grab a paper and a pen and write the moments or situations where your ex-partner felt uncomfortable and why.
  2. Did they felt anxious and even somehow distant when around you?
  3. How did you felt around them? Did you felt something was wrong, and their behavior was strange? Like a push a pull? Wanting one day to be close, and the other be apart?
  4. Did they leave the relationship out of the blue without wanting to resolve the issues?
  5. Where did you meet them? 
  6. Where and how are you investing your time now?
  7. Do you perceive yourself as a lovable person?
  8. Don’t you deserve someone sure about his/her feelings for you?
  9. Don’t you deserve someone willing to travel the world to be with you?
  10. Don’t you deserve a man or a woman that will hold your hand and walk with you through the rough paths of life?

Listen, unless you are a complete emotional freak, always remember that a relationship for better or for worst needs two to work. Don’t take the blame, because most of the time the problem is on the other side and not with you. The work and things that are under your control are where your power resides not only to grow as an individual but also to create prosperous relationships in the future. Someone that leaves you knowing that you are a great catch should be not only the biggest TURN-OFF in the world but also a great opportunity to after a sabbatical period ignites your beautiful light in the world and attract your true alignment.

Someone who is internally emotionally broken will never feel comfortable around you or able to give you the sincerity and consistency that you deserve unless they work on themselves. We all have emotional wounds and unmet needs. What we do with this information is what counts for success and failure in all areas of our lives.

More than fall for the pretty face or body, allow yourself to reeducate your selection mate process taking into account personality traits first and then, physical ones. Give yourself time!

To close my post, I share with you the link to one of Brian Nadon’s articles called: Listen, Learn, and Love.

With love,


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11 comentários

  1. It always takes two to make or break a relationship. But in order to learn the lessons present, we must ask ourselves the questions you explored above. It is imperative that we know and even love ourself before we can willingly engage another person in a loving journey. That is why so many relationships end up shallow. One party seeks to complete themselves through the addition of another.

    But this cannot be the case. Instead, we must have enough footing in our own being to willingly share our life ambitions with another. That is where we lead ourselves down the great and rocky paths life affords us. Thank you for sharing friend.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. It often takes two to make or break a relationship but that isn’t always the case. There are people who simply do not want to be/ are not yet able to be in long term relationships and they move on from person to person. There are also all kinds of addicts, including sex addicts, and violent partners. People bring unhealthy patterns and baggage into relationships. In these cases, it may be unfair to put the blame on one of the partners.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thank you for your commentary, Thomas.

      Relationships are the most precious thing that we can have in our lives. For that reason, when we start one, we have to be sure of what we want and not play games with the other person. I don’t understand how can someone end a relationship and start another one almost immediately, well I can, they need to close a void without looking within them.

      We deserve someone sure about what they feel for us and won’t change their minds just because something went wrong. Fears and doubts are normal but will become an abnormality if we let it dictate our actions.

      Have a lovely weekend 🙂


    1. You are more than welcome my dear!

      People get into relationships for different reasons, reasons, that in most cases, will hurt somebody else. More than ever, we should educate ourselves for love, how to attach, and how attachment predicts the failure or relationship success. My past relationships and my life taught me a big lesson, even if you are a great person in all spheres you can’t match with people who go with the flow or don’t want to work on themselves.

      I’m not going to fall into the same emotional traps, and this is my mission with others. Teach how to achieve harmony within ourselves and then with others.

      Thank you for your contribution, and have a lovely weekend!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Alexandra. So true what you wrote. And what an excellent exercise you suggest !!! Relationships are always a job for two, respecting the individuality of each person. And yes, the problem is not always with us. Excellent reflection. Kisses

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your post is amazing Alexandra, I love it!! Relationships is actually something a bit complicated, the right amount of love and commitment is needed to make it last. So many ppl these days confuse love with something else and lack of commitment!

    Liked by 1 person


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