Some women and men, when their intimate relationships are over, tend to take all the blame and responsibility. But very few in the heat of the moment ask themselves if the person who left them was the right husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. They want to give it another try, maybe explore other possibilities, and why not, professional counseling. Whatever is the case, the reality is that we are living a period where the majority of intimate relationships are shallow. This scenario should be acknowledged to break the emotional chains in which many individuals are tied.
In the recent past, I have seen this scenario leading people to unnecessary heartbreaks: A woman or a man meets someone that seems incredible. The first moments are amazing. The initial phase of the relationship is phenomenal, and everything seems to go in the right direction.
But then, all of a sudden, the fall from the cliff arrives. They can’t do it with you anymore, and desperately you want to understand why. You want a reason for it because everything they tell is vague. And here you are, crying, wondering and ruminating weeks, months and even years about what went wrong.
Let me ask you this: Are you a crazy person?
If your answer is no, I do have another question for you: Do you know what intimacy is?
Intimacy means: Into me, you see!
So if you are a great partner, kind-hearted individual, you know how to sustain a relationship, and you educate yourself. Don’t create inside your mind the false narrative that must be something wrong with you, because your relationships tend to fail. Instead, look at the situation and analyze it to your advantage following the steps below:
- Grab a paper and a pen and write the moments or situations where your ex-partner felt uncomfortable and why.
- Did they felt anxious and even somehow distant when around you?
- How did you felt around them? Did you felt something was wrong, and their behavior was strange? Like a push a pull? Wanting one day to be close, and the other be apart?
- Did they leave the relationship out of the blue without wanting to resolve the issues?
- Where did you meet them?
- Where and how are you investing your time now?
- Do you perceive yourself as a lovable person?
- Don’t you deserve someone sure about his/her feelings for you?
- Don’t you deserve someone willing to travel the world to be with you?
- Don’t you deserve a man or a woman that will hold your hand and walk with you through the rough paths of life?
Listen, unless you are a complete emotional freak, always remember that a relationship for better or for worst needs two to work. Don’t take the blame, because most of the time the problem is on the other side and not with you. The work and things that are under your control are where your power resides not only to grow as an individual but also to create prosperous relationships in the future. Someone that leaves you knowing that you are a great catch should be not only the biggest TURN-OFF in the world but also a great opportunity to after a sabbatical period ignites your beautiful light in the world and attract your true alignment.
Someone who is internally emotionally broken will never feel comfortable around you or able to give you the sincerity and consistency that you deserve unless they work on themselves. We all have emotional wounds and unmet needs. What we do with this information is what counts for success and failure in all areas of our lives.
More than fall for the pretty face or body, allow yourself to reeducate your selection mate process taking into account personality traits first and then, physical ones. Give yourself time!
To close my post, I share with you the link to one of Brian Nadon’s articles called: Listen, Learn, and Love.