I’m not the kind of woman who likes to gives a sugar coat to anything. Because the more we avoid reality, the more we will fall into unnecessary traps that can lead us to traumatic emotional experiences. It is my personal opinion that men and women are experiencing what we might call relationships à la carte, which for some individuals, aren’t necessarily a good thing. But many engage in these relational dynamics in hopes that the other person will change.

This article is a message from me as a woman to all men who will read my words, in hopes that it can clarify how falling in love and timing plays an important role on how we choose you, and why you will lose us if you don’t act in time. I also want to warn you that this article is about emotionally healthy women that are ready to have intimate relationships and share a real connection with you.

  1. We like to hear from you every day. No, we don’t like it when you sleep with us and then disappear for days or weeks, giving us superficial excuses. When we have sex with you, we already like you. So, the more we share intimate details of our lives with you, and the more sex we have, the more we will attach and love you. (Hormone Oxytocin explains why this happens)
  2. Yes, we fall in love faster than you. And yes, we will ask you directly where the relationship is going. Not because we are needy, but because we need that clear information to decide our lives and to see if you fit in our future.
  3. When we meet you, we think that you will be different from the guys that we had relationships with before. It is part of human nature and animal selection to seek better mattes of what we had before. No, we don’t need to have a hot sexy guy in bed every day, but we do want to have a partner who can receive and accept our vulnerable moments. So when we are going out with you, yes, we are thinking about how you will be as a long term partner. 
  4. We hate emotional games, and we hate to have to chase you. Men are taught not to be needy or clingy, which can be a good trait when it doesn’t go too far. However, my question is, why do we have to chase when we give you all the signs that we want you? Why we have to pay the bills for your past failed relationships? 
  5. No, we don’t want you to share with your family or friends the information that we share with you without our consent. When we share intimate details and information about our lives with you, it is because you are our person. The moment you share with others our conversations, it is the exact moment that our emotional attraction towards you will start to disappear. 
  6. We don’t detach our bodies from our hearts. The modern dating teaches us to detach the body from the heart, but we can’t. And the more we try to do that, the more we will disrespect not only our core values but also our emotional needs.
     
  7. We are consistent. We want to be part of your life, nurture you, and embrace it. When a woman is ready for a real and stable relationship, she wants to be part of your life, and consistently she will show her interest and presence. She isn’t interested in roller coaster games or playing hard to get.
  8. If you don’t love us, please say it without using cliches. We don’t need intermittent emotional rewards or breadcrumbs of your attention and time. Perhaps you like what we provide to you (attention, time, support), but if you don’t genuinely love us, be honest.
  9. When we leave, we leave forever. No, we aren’t mean or selfish. But if we had a sexual and romantic relationship with you, don’t expect friendship from us after a breakup. It takes time to heal, as it takes time to sexually and emotionally fall out of love from you.

As written before, like it or not, women have a time frame in which they will fall in love with you, and this is the period that you should show up and invest in the relationship if you feel it. Because the biggest mistake a man can make with a woman is playing it cool or going with the flow because she is available, sweet, sleeping, and pursuing him without complaining. It feels good, and you wrongly think that things won’t change. But things will change. She will ask you what’s going on, and even tell you that she is unhappy. Already questioning your feelings for her, and your intentions, she is counting the time because she feels it’s time to leave. This woman with time will have a profound dislike for you, not because you are a bad person, but because she gave it all to you. And yes, likely she will end up hating herself for allowing it to happen.

If you see anything special and unique about the woman in your life, any glimmer of something sweet and valuable to you, don’t let that opportunity goes by. The reality is you guys tend to wake up to the party late and realize our worth in our absence. I prefer that you don’t wait until she walks out the door, because the moment that woman closes the door for you, it is closed forever.

Don’t take for granted the woman who loves you and is real for you, and don’t let other people with their commentaries change the perception you have about her. Remember that you are the only one who is having a relationship with her.

As Scott Fitzgerald wrote: ” The girl really worth having won’t wait for anybody.”

With love,

Alexandra

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6 comentários

    1. April, you are more than welcome.

      It is my opinion and some personal experience that we shouldn’t wait for a man who is figuring out if he loves and wants to be with us. As I explained, men tend to awake for love later than us because of how their brain, hormones, and social expectations works. Also, the modern dating world changed relationship dynamics creating individuals with what we call commitment phobias because they had bad romantic experiences in the past, bad parenting example roles, or because there are too many virtual options to choose.

      So what remains important in all this equation is what do we want. Do we want games or honesty? Do we want available men or teach men to wake up to love? Do we want to spend our lives with someone sure about himself and his feelings about us, or with someone using us to test the waters?

      We have to be comfortable within our skin and allow life to intercede on our behalf. Letting a man know where you stand is the first step to avoid heartbreaking down the road. Be yourself and be willing to walk away if that is necessary.

      Have a lovely week 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Thanks! You have put into words exactly how i felt two weeks back and broke up with the guy who was throwing breadcrumbs my way. I hope more girls read this when they are confused which way to go when they are stuck with a choice, either to stay with a guy (out of love) who doesn’t give a fuck about them or to leave the one sided affair and enjoy single life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello 🙂

      Thank you for your commentary, and I am glad that my article could reach your heart. I do believe in this world we have plenty of amazing men truly available for us. We need to open our eyes and hearts for that reality and forget the ones who aren’t unsure about themselves, and for that reason, unavailable to have a relationship with a woman.

      Feel free to share 🙂

      Wishing you a wonderful week 🙂

      Alexandra

      Liked by 1 person

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