Let’s Talk About “Situationships”?

Before I start this new article, I would like to thank the new readers that arrived and joined my “Ouso Escrever” family on this platform.

What is a “situationship”? Considering all the possible labels that we are using now to define intimate relationships, a “situationship” is a relationship that hasn’t been define yet.
You may not like it, but the reality is that the modern dating world and also the avalanche of dating apps. Has created the phenom called the paradox of choice, in which individuals have a hard time committing to the people they have in front of them. The swipe arena helps some relationships to stay undefined, and also is altering the internal animal technology that we used in the past to select our romantic mates. Yes, I am talking about hormones because we can’t forget how our biology works.

When we are intimate with one person happens one physiological reaction or response during sex, cuddling, hugging, that we can’t override it. The release of oxytocin and this is the reason why I request women to have sex with men, only when they know them well. The moment you have sex with a man or his penis penetrates your vagina. You won’t release only oxytocin, but also your levels of estrogen will rise. And this hormonal cocktail will bond you to the man you are having sex. So be conscious, and be sure that you have a mental and heart connection with your prospective partner, understanding that men don’t bond the same way that we do. They tend to detach after sex because of prolactin release and the necessity to rebuild testosterone. For this reason, if he doesn’t have a connection with you on other levels, he will disappear and come back only to have sex.

If you don’t want to have “situationship” but a real intimate relationship, be clear about what you want, speak your truth, and take a look at these signs:

1. You are frequently anxious.
2. Your partner shows through ambivalent actions that they aren’t ready to assume major commitments.
3. You don’t talk about the future, and everything seems vague.
4. You have a sense of zilch emotional closeness.
5. Inconsistency is the golden rule of “situationships”. 
6. In an expression of deep emotions, they will shut down emotionally or avoid you for days.
7. Everything is getting bored. Why? Because to keep a relationship alive, we need to stimulate the brain’s reward system responsible for dopamine and norepinephrine production. How can you do that if you are always watching Netflix? 

The propose of having a real full-time relationship it’s because we love to have that special someone who we call our person. Having an intimate relationship means that you want to have someone waiting for you when you come back home. But more than that, someone that you can lean on in the good days and bad days.
If you want a serious and committed relationship, speak your truth, and don’t allow anyone to “steal” your time or life. Because life is too short, and you have in your hands the power to give it the best usage and living.

To conclude, I wish all of you a wonderful week and enjoy Susan’s video about the Situationships.

With love,

Alexandra