“Bonds of Love never make the wearer weaker – they give him greater Strength!”
— Wonder Woman
Today, I begin a new chapter of my life, bringing the end to the amazing cycle of loss and transformation that my 35 years old self brought into my hands and heart. I don’t regret any of my experiences because down the road. I evolved so much that I’m not the same Alexandra. As Patricia Velasquez wrote: “if there is one creature that represents my essence, it’s butterflies.” Butterflies represent not only my essence but also my capacity to metamorphize my human sense after loss and emotional death. I may die, but I will always have my rebirth to life until my cycle of living is over. Resilience and having faith, but also enough emotional intelligence to call it quits when situations and people are holding me back.
My question for you:
How many ships we have to leave to allow life to flourish and move forward? How many goodbyes we have to say and feel within our hearts to cure emotional pain?
I was born on 21 st of October 1984, on the same day that forty-three years before, the Wonder Woman made her first debut in “All-star comics” issue nº8. And life revealed since my birth why I was meant to be the real Wonder Woman. More than being a super tall and athletic woman, I possess a unique personality and beauty, which is exotic and rare these days. The straight to leave behind situations and people that drain my energy and focus. But also the ability to give love and show real compassion or empathy. Like many of you, I am a human with limited force energy to spend.
Yes, human energy is limited. Many times when you hear people blaming their lives and relationships, ask them how much of their energy and focus they put into those areas. How many of them, when they wake up, instead of kissing their partners, they check their social media feeds? Focus is a priority, and we should prioritize what is important and real.
The reality is we are living an Inattention Epidemic that is eroding affection, love, consistency, and presence.
My 35 years brought profound changes into my life, the end of a two-year intimate relationship, and associated with this breakup. I still have this image of him sharing with his mother next to the fridge the conversation he had with me the night before. Which made me question where the privacy line is? I could understand why, despite the love I had towards him, I was always so renitent to share with him something so special and private about my journey as a woman.
But what could I do? Blame him? I made a conscious decision to have a relationship with this man, and I believe life and time will allow the truth to come to the surface. My last move was to accept it was over. Painful, yes. But in peace, because I did everything a conscious and healthy girlfriend should do.
I felt a profound real love for this man, and he will always have a place in my life and heart that no one can replace. When your love is real, because it resides within you, time will help you to compartmentalize that feeling in another category. For that reason, I bought a beautiful timber box where I saved everything about us and our story, Pictures, his clothes, letters and everything he gave to me. And I’m still wearing the gold heart necklace that he gave me on my 34 anniversary because love is love, and it was an offer in a time of love and intimacy.
While having an intimate relationship with a man, you grow, you change, and mistakes happen. So the snapshot that your man takes about you at the beginning of the relationship won’t be the same. A snapshot is a static image that captures a specific moment, but you are more than a moment. You are a human having experiences and challenges that will mold you long term.
My understanding is, when your boyfriend or girlfriend decides to leave, let them go. Let them experience life as they wish and without you, believe me, this is the highest gift of your love that you offer.
“I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I’ll take the bad times
I’ll take you just the way you are
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you?
I said I love you and that’s forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are”
After ten years of working in the farming industry, I left for good my job as an agricultural businesswoman, which was literally killing me. And since then, I have been nurturing myself with things that I enjoy. I was able to travel to Italy and discover this fantastic country with my brother. After twelve years of pause, I finished my master’s degree and decided to go back to university to follow my dreams and aspirations. 2020 hasn’t been the Covid-19 year for me, but the sabbatical year that my soul and body were asking for a very long time.
No social media activities, no contact with people that were draining my energy/happiness, and you want to know something wonderful? People that used to cycle with me in Australia found me on Strava, and even far away, we are again cycling together. By the way, till now, I cycled more than 3000km in Portugal.
No change happens without you want it to happen. No change happens without energetical recalibration or redirecting your focus into your personal achievements. You have to leave ships that are holding you back. You have to let people you love go away if they want to leave. But you can always carry them inside your heart as long as you live.
Be resilient, have courage, but when it comes to an end, and you feel it in your veins. Like I said in this article, saying goodbye with intelligence is the key.
The present article isn’t an inspirational message, but a message of love coming from the unique place that emotional poison can’t reach, the inner self.
Happy 36th Anniversary Wonder Woman and long live to the Amazon Portuguese/Australian Queen.
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Ma, S., Hangya, B. et al. (2018). Dual-transmitter systems regulating arousal, attention, learning and memory. Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 85, 21-33.