According to Oxford Lexico:

Activation Energy is “the minimum quantity of energy which the reacting species must possess in order to undergo a specified reaction.

Why Activation Energy matters in dating and relationships?

The answer is simple, without energy, relationships don’t move forward, don’t involve or survive through the test of time. Nowadays, people are becoming lazier and lazier because new technology provides a safety net for laziness. And online environments created this marketing idea that someone better is waiting somewhere else, feeding low brain functioning, lazy behavior, and murdering at the same time the fundamental reasons why we need to connect with others in the first place.

What are dating apps (OkCupid, Instagram, Facebook, etc.) other than just human shopping windows? Windows of voyeurism, superficiality, and commonality?

Do you get to know someone through edition/filters or by knowing the real facts of their lives? When was the last time you dared to approach someone in the bar and offer to pay for a drink or to have a chat? When was the last time you put yourself in uncomfortable situations which could lead to rejection, but you did it anyway?

Behaviors such as Ghosting, zombieing, breadcrumbing, orbiting, slow fading, unfriending, blocking, and many more are the fruit and reflection of low activation energy. Is it normal? No! Is it detrimental to your mental health? Yes!

Jumping from one relationship to another is nothing more than a synonym of fear and low activation energy. Date multiple partners at the same time is also part of low activation energy. Not only because the human brain can’t deal with multiple choices, but as long as it serves as ego entertainment, there is no reason to decide or chose just one option.

Someone who dismisses you without a sustainable reason is a visible sign of who they are, setting you free from unnecessary pain or traumatic emotional experiences. Even if the “reason” is plausible and your brain tries to dismiss it, accept the reality, heal yourself, and move forward at your pace.

Relationships these days tend to end easily, and this reality is well-documented. Due to superficial arguments, passive-aggressive behavior, attachment style dynamics, low activation energy, poor communication skills, maturity mismatch, fears, the necessity of control, couples don’t remain together. Sadly, what they don’t realize is the lost opportunity to grow and heal that life may in some circumstances never present to them again.

If you are someone who actively spends energy to build flourishing relationships, remember that as long as you are focused on what you want and need, sooner or later, the correct person will appear in your life. Don’t close yourself down in online environments. Go out and meet new people by allowing yourself to experience the real feeling of frustration and perhaps rejection. In reality, you are building and bringing value to your character, your life through resilience and persistence.

Mind you that we are in the middle of a pandemic scene, but it allowed us to look after ourselves, even before thinking about someone. Think about it, and throw through your window human laziness and shallow behavior.

With love,


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3 comentários

  1. I say that if love, itself, never encourages a person to push them to extraordinary limits, then it has not made a person insane enough.

    There’s a reason why we say we’re “madly” in love. It only means that we feel superhuman, that those we cannot devote the same time or level of energy to, will call this out of us. I say that through love, we must willingly become insane. And, we will never go back to our most imperfect, sane selves, for the hope of love’s continuation will keep us onward.

    Relationships fail, primarily because people believe one should trust before they love. This is incorrect. One should love, before they trust. People have got everything backwards, these days, which is why they often retreat back to the comforting graves they’ve dug for themselves.

    Why should we love, before we trust? It’s because the former is not selective. Love is universal. However, upon those we are willing to break open like an egg to, we wish for special attention. Same as love is meant to protect, though trust will simply depend on function. If we trust before we love, than we have embraced the idea of “abandonment”. That’s where relationships fail. It’s because when we trust before we love, it’s no different than keeping a loved one in the cold of a blizzard, simply trusting them to perform better. Instead of that, our love should compel us to bring them into shelter, so that trust becomes a two-way street.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. “Form follows function” is the scenario, brought in from Post-Modernism, that follows the incorrect ideal that people should trust (or rely on function), before they love.

      This is the primary reason why no one finds contentment, in today’s world of relationships. Though, they’ll think that the continuation of life should be in their burial under excessive responsibility.

      Liked by 1 person


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