According to Oxford Lexico:
Activation Energy is “the minimum quantity of energy which the reacting species must possess in order to undergo a specified reaction.“
Why Activation Energy matters in dating and relationships?
The answer is simple, without energy, relationships don’t move forward, don’t involve or survive through the test of time. Nowadays, people are becoming lazier and lazier because new technology provides a safety net for laziness. And online environments created this marketing idea that someone better is waiting somewhere else, feeding low brain functioning, lazy behavior, and murdering at the same time the fundamental reasons why we need to connect with others in the first place.
What are dating apps (OkCupid, Instagram, Facebook, etc.) other than just human shopping windows? Windows of voyeurism, superficiality, and commonality?
Do you get to know someone through edition/filters or by knowing the real facts of their lives? When was the last time you dared to approach someone in the bar and offer to pay for a drink or to have a chat? When was the last time you put yourself in uncomfortable situations which could lead to rejection, but you did it anyway?
Behaviors such as Ghosting, zombieing, breadcrumbing, orbiting, slow fading, unfriending, blocking, and many more are the fruit and reflection of low activation energy. Is it normal? No! Is it detrimental to your mental health? Yes!
Jumping from one relationship to another is nothing more than a synonym of fear and low activation energy. Date multiple partners at the same time is also part of low activation energy. Not only because the human brain can’t deal with multiple choices, but as long as it serves as ego entertainment, there is no reason to decide or chose just one option.
Someone who dismisses you without a sustainable reason is a visible sign of who they are, setting you free from unnecessary pain or traumatic emotional experiences. Even if the “reason” is plausible and your brain tries to dismiss it, accept the reality, heal yourself, and move forward at your pace.
Relationships these days tend to end easily, and this reality is well-documented. Due to superficial arguments, passive-aggressive behavior, attachment style dynamics, low activation energy, poor communication skills, maturity mismatch, fears, the necessity of control, couples don’t remain together. Sadly, what they don’t realize is the lost opportunity to grow and heal that life may in some circumstances never present to them again.
If you are someone who actively spends energy to build flourishing relationships, remember that as long as you are focused on what you want and need, sooner or later, the correct person will appear in your life. Don’t close yourself down in online environments. Go out and meet new people by allowing yourself to experience the real feeling of frustration and perhaps rejection. In reality, you are building and bringing value to your character, your life through resilience and persistence.
Mind you that we are in the middle of a pandemic scene, but it allowed us to look after ourselves, even before thinking about someone. Think about it, and throw through your window human laziness and shallow behavior.