It might sound like a silly question, and perhaps you keep telling yourself that it is just bad luck. Well, maybe you want a situationship or a non-monogamous dynamic, but what about if you want a monogamous and long-term relationship?
Let’s forget the “bad luck” justification and bring to the table the real reason: the idea that you deserve to be punished.
Did you ever have this nausea feeling when you heard from kind people sincere eulogies? But at the same time, you felt compelled to chase mean-minded partners? Did you ever ask yourself the reason why you tend to repel great people but feel great excitement around those who don’t call you back or don’t invest their time genuinely getting to know you? Are you an adult now?
To answer those questions above, one of the reasons might be your childhood roots. But if going back can threaten your feelings, we can start from something more simple like asking: “Why I don’t like John or Kelly, even knowing that they are attractive and so kind to me?”. “What do I want from a relationship, and what is a romantic interaction to me?”.
Bring the answer to your conscious mind, take a deep breath, and read now my words: You deserve a real and trusting, loving romantic connection.
Kind people are generally very far from dull or stupid. In reality, affectionate people are very attuned with their emotions. And easily can see what you don’t observe about yourself: your uniqueness!
The moment you sit down, bringing to your conscious mind what you need to change, it is precisely the moment that you will stop chasing unavailable people. Sometimes all we need is a moment of clarity and profound loneliness to understand our patterns and inner unavailability to accept realness and kindness.
How do I know this? Well, from psychology and life experience.
Let me add something more here: If your vagina is receiving a penis, or you are inserting a penis in one vagina, YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO ASK WHERE THE RELATIONSHIP IS GOING AND IF YOU ARE ON THE SAME PAGE!
It is healthy and expected to label a relationship. But be sure that you do that with available people. With men and women who can see you and accept whatever you possess within. By removing your body and mind from what feels comfortable, you are opening new doors, new possibilities, and trust me, looking at kindhearted individuals will be a brand newish thrilling experience.