DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY, CAN GO BOTH WAYS, AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE.
Let’s say you met this man, interactions made you feel good, going out with him was incredible, and consciously, you decided to have sex with him. However, after having sex, a shift occurred. Maybe he doesn’t interact with you like before, perhaps he disappeared, or worst-case scenario, you are beating yourself up regretting your decision.
Darling, stop right there!
First of all: You slept with him. OWN IT!
Secondly: These days, let’s be honest, men and women are preloaded with bad experiences from their past, waiting for your craziness to come out at any moment. Plus, there is not much incentive for exclusivity.
Thirdly: Although there is a biological reason for this situation, I would like you not to chase or wonder why he disappeared. You must feel good about yourself and understand that we cannot control the outcome. We can only control our actions and feelings.
Biologically speaking, when we have sex with a man, our estrogen and oxytocin levels reach a peak, promoting the bonding or attachment process to that person specifically. So, after sex, we will crave his attention and interactions as an animal survival instinct. Remember that we are humans but animals at the same time.
However, for men or some men, it works differently. They will pursue because they like us, are attracted to us at least physically. But also, there is this inherent need to spread genes. After having sex, men’s testosterone levels will drop, and estrogen will be too high. Unless sex addiction is on the equation on his side, there will be the need to pull away to rebuild their normal levels of testosterone and perhaps, after, come back to you.
Meanwhile, I don’t want you to beat yourself up thinking that he disappeared because he didn’t like the sex with you or because you didn’t have time to build an emotional connection with him. Endorse your sexuality and desire with no shameful thoughts and if he does not return to your interaction, wish him well and let it go.
Do not put your life on hold. Don’t change your vibe or try to punish him with selfish and crazy games taught all over the internet. Respect and own your decision, never losing from your sight who you are. By this, you will not chase him because you know that people can change their minds. You had sex with him because you liked him. And you know what? His loss if he disappears.
Endorse your sexuality and desire with no shameful thoughts. You slept with the Guy. OWN IT!
With love,
Alexandra
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