“One Day” – although it is a movie from 2011, carries within a valuable message for all of us. Letting go of the ones who truly love us can turn out in one of the biggest mistakes of our lives. Not because we can’t re-connect with them down the road, but because life and circumstances that we cannot control might steal from us forever that person.
It is obvious or seemingly evident that everyone is looking for chemistry. But is the chemistry enough to sustain a prosperous and healthy relationship?
Here are some hard truths about relationships:
1 – Relationships require work to build the bond and excel your potential as a couple. Every relationship at some point will reach the power struggle phase, so the more preparation you collect over time, the better.
2 – Doubts are part of the process. By this, I mean that will be days where doubts will daunt our minds, not because there is something wrong with the relationship, us, or our partner. But because having doubts are opportunities to explore our needs and desires. Remember that communication is the key to success, and please don’t assume there is something wrong or that you are with the wrong person.
3 – At some point, disagreements and hurt will occur.
4 – Don’t buy yourself short into theories such as “soul mates”. One of the biggest problems in relationships is when one, or both partners, believe that their soulmate is somewhere waiting for them and everything will be easy. This fantasy has made many individuals remain single and even lose the real love of their lives.
5 – Our partners are our intimate mirrors. Some people might claim that their friends and families are the ones who truly understand them. However, our intimate partners are the ones that capture perfectly our lightful side but also the shadow side.
6 – The right partner, men or women, is the one who will make hard decisions in tough times. The one with open arms will protect you with the feeling of being at home.
To conclude, I will paraphrase Gottman Institute “Go for your life partner, not your prom Date”. The so-called desirable lust and easiness, you can find it around the corner or on dating apps. Finding your life partner requires a shift in your mindset and selection process. If you have found that person already, give them all the right reasons to stay because later can be too late.