Us. Many of us experienced, somehow in our lives, the painful feeling of seeing things not happening. It can be a job promotion that never happened, the ending of an essential relationship, or a turnaround in life out of control. What will you do? Runaway? Face the pain and frustration of a shattered reality?

There is no simple answer to this dilemma. How many of us fear uncertainty without understanding that this is an opportunity to rebuild or adjust our character? What is our core, our nucleus, if not the door for living an expanding life? I’m not talking about fast recipes with false premises, trends, and ephemerality results. I’m talking about emotional intelligence, even if, these days, individuals vomit theories about emotional intelligence like having severe flu. Let’s go deeper. What about Unclick? Disconnect? Silence and look within?

The pain of not happening is so essential, like drinking water. Living painfully, I mean facing the pain and without distractions, enables growth and self-knowledge, which won’t happen with avoidance or feeding the loop of blaming, comparing, and degrading the self. Shame, the shame of feeling, the shame of feeling the need for help erodes the ability to build connections with our inner world and others. Remember one thing others will run away from your pain because they don’t want to face their own struggles and the vision that they are not omnipotent.

What can you do?

  1. Write a journal and keep it private. Writing (neurologically speaking) helps the brain get out of volatility and find homeostasis. 
  2. Real friends may only be counted by a few fingers of one of your hands. Keep those.
  3. Identify your needs and meet those by yourself, firstly. Live the pain, scream, and cry. Every emotion must be experienced, even if culturally seems a demonizing thing to do. 
  4. Keep it real! Be yourself. 
  5. Last but not least, seek professional help without excuses if things are getting too much to handle. 

With love,

Alexandra

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