“Tech companies understand what causes dopamine surges in the brain and they lace their products with ‘hijacking techniques’ that lure us in and create ‘compulsion loops’.” Most social media sites create irregularly timed rewards, Brooks wrote, a technique long employed by the makers of slot machines, based on the work of the American psychologist BF Skinner, who found that the strongest way to reinforce a learned behaviour in rats is to reward it on a random schedule. “When a gambler feels favoured by luck, dopamine is released,” says Natasha Schüll, a professor at New York University and author of Addiction By Design: Machine Gambling in Las Vegas. This is the secret to Facebook’s era-defining success: we compulsively check the site because we never know when the delicious ting of social affirmation may sound.”
“When we are acting from our Integrity, what we could call our authentic self, we don’t try. We don’t’ have a need to try. We just take action. We don’t concern ourselves with whether what we are doing is the right thing. We also don’t have a need to justify or defend what we are doing to anybody. This includes ourselves. The action comes from the heart and is with love, that is how we know it is true. There are not many men or women of integrity. Most people second guess themselves. When a person with emotional integrity makes a mistake, or fails in their endeavor, they don’t judge themselves. They know they did their best and the mind does not create an internal conflict with self judgment.”
“Phubbing is a dopamine slot machine that keeps you away from real relationships.
Phubbing is the act of snubbing people in favor of a phone, is a disrespectful, harmful, and a habit that can ruin relationships.”
“Everywhere we see and hear people writing and talking that we are living in a life period where everything is faster. But no one tells you how to stop and give attention to your life and relationships.”
“Remind yourself of the things you love about your partner. Every night, before you go to sleep, think about why you are grateful to have him or her in your life. Research shows that being grateful deepens relationships. An unexpected outcome of those studies is that being grateful also makes us more kind.”
We all try to find the true definition of intimacy, but can it be found between words? Intimacy happens at the psychological level, the sense of belonging, the feeling of being alive, content and ecstatic.
For this new week, the question is: What is essential in your life? Watch the video and enjoy life. Don’t let fear stop you, improve your argument. With love, Alexandra
“Focus less on creating the perfect social media story and enjoy the time you spend with your partner and friends in real time in the real world. If everything is distilled through a website, you aren’t making the most of the time you spend together.”
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Viktor Frankl
“Sexual satisfaction for both the anxiously attached and the avoidant is constricted; the anxious partner is preoccupied with being loved, and the avoidant partner is determined to stay detached….The most satisfying and orgasmic sex, what I call ‘synchrony sex,‘ occurs when partners are securely attached
A secure bond is characterized by emotional openness and responsiveness in the bedroom as well as out. That leads to better communication and engaged, focused attention, which in turn leads to greater arousal, pleasure, and satisfaction….Think about it. If you trust that your partner is there for you, then you can relax and let go without fear of embarrassment or rejection. Safety fosters a willingness to experiment, take risks, and be fully immersed in the sexual encounter. Sex becomes more spontaneous, passionate, and joyful.”