“In the run up to International Women’s Day last week, the Diversity Council of Australia (DCA) published a list of 8 common myths about workplace sexual harassment. One of these myths is the belief that sexual harassment only happens to straight women, when in reality it happens to people of all genders and sexual orientations.
According to report by Rebecca DiGriolamo in the The Advertiser (Adelaide), nearly 1 in 2 complaints of sexual harassment accepted by the commission in 2017/2018 were made by men.
Sexual harassment against men at work is more common than most people think. Research by the Australian Human Rights Commission has found that 23% of women and 16% of men experienced sexual harassment at work in Australia in 2018.”
Like cognitive neuroscience teach us, when it comes to intimate relationships, we should choose “boring” and not “over the top” candidates. Not because we are picky or mean, but because “the spark” isn’t necessarily a good thing or a reliable source of information if someone will be the right partner for you. “Chemistry” is a cocktail of lust and danger that wrings the dopamine out of your neurotransmitters.
In times of so much online interactions and technology trance, we need emotional educators, people who are emotionally free from lobbies and patriarchal ideas. We need to educate our children and set them free from intoxicating ideologies and behaviors. We need people who are real people and women who can lead and show the way. Forgetting unnecessary and outdated feminism by rescuing the art of sensuality, and embrace the power that they can choose who they want, when, where, and how. And the lives they want to live also by stop being the Instagram shelf women.
“It is critical to understand that sensitivity is a temperament—an aspect of personality, such as introversion or extroversion, which is believed to be innate rather than learned. It has been estimated that 15 to 20 percent of the population has a Highly Sensitive temperament. It occurs about equally for men and women. Being an HSP is not considered to be a disorder or malfunction. Unfortunately, in spite of being a significant percentage of the population, HSPs are still not well understood, and their particular challenges are not often recognized.”
“There are biological reasons for all the components of this trait. An HSP’s brain is wired differently and the nervous system is highly sensitive with a lower threshold for action (2). This hyper-excitability contributes to increased emotional reactivity, a lower threshold for sensory information (e.g. bothered by noise, or too much light), and increased awareness of subtleties (e.g. quick to notice odors).”
“How can aerobic exercise and cycling prevent brain diseases? The answer is simple. Every time we do aerobic exercise, we increase our level of blood flow to the entire body, including the brain. Also, we should understand and accept that to age properly look after the levels of hormones is imperative. Cycling, for example, can enhance the production of neurons but also stimulate the production of dopamine, serotonin, and ignite positively hippocampus structures, which plays an important role in memory and spatial navigation.”
“It’s important to recognize why one is single, whether being single is a choice or arises from unconscious factors (and if so what those factors are likely to be), to what extent social influence plays a role in relationship status, and, if partnered, whether one is genuinely interested in being in a relationship. As stigma about singlehood decreases, more people will end up being single, more people will choose being single out of a secure attachment style, and (hopefully) fewer people will be partnered or single for the wrong reasons. Models of secure singlehood will become more defined socially, better understood psychologically, and happy single people will be able to live openly, without having to deal with bias.”
“When you go through a breakup, especially one that’s unexpected, your body may register it as an emergency and go into “fight-or-flight” mode. Being in this state triggers the release of hormones that can prepare your body to stay and deal with a threat or to run away to safety. It can also trigger a rapid heartbeat or trembling.
Our muscles tense, we lose our appetite, we may experience [gastrointestinal] disruption, and we’re likely to have trouble falling asleep. Being in this physically hyper-vigilant state over a period of time can lead to headaches, stomachaches, and muscle soreness”
” Freud believed that all humans experience something he called “repetition compulsion,” which he saw as a biological need to repeat old behaviors. Neuroscientists have been finding evidence in recent years to back him up on this, suggesting that that neuropathways set themselves up in our brains and push us to keep doing the same behavior.”
“Seeking true love is a difficult path, so any assistance available is appreciated by most. Whether you are good looking or not, wealthy or not, young or old, finding a date or finding long-term love is a shared goal that requires you to put yourself out there at risk of personal rejection and humiliation—nothing many of us enjoy.”
“The best partnerships might be an honest merging of ambivalences, two people who admit they each want conflicting things, a bunny and a buddy, brutal honesty and tactful kindness, and can laugh together about the predicament of trying to get that from one person for life.”
“People with healthy narcissism have a quiet, comfortable confidence. They are aware of their strengths as well as their shortcomings, and view both as essential to their wholeness. They know they are not perfect, and have no expectations or intentions to be so. People with healthy egos view themselves as learners who are constantly growing, and are not at all seduced into trying to be better than others.”
“In times past, men and women tended to meet at work, through mutual friends, or at social venues such as church or sports clubs. In other words, their relationship was rooted in a pre-existing social ecology where others could generally be trusted. This could inhibit contemptible dating behavior as wrongdoers faced opprobrium from the pre-existing community.
However, no such social ecology exists within the world of dating apps. On the contrary, some dating app users can hide under a cloak of anonymity or deceit. This can include deception about personal characteristics such as age or profession, as well as dishonesty regarding intentions.”
“Stoics place a lot of value on…values — your principles, what you use to guide your life, you deciding the type of person you want to be. These are different from “shoulds” and rules that you may inherit from your parents, your culture. They are chosen by you, and you are responsible for putting them into practice daily.
The key here is again deciding what those values are; deciding and imaging the person you want to be and become, different from your parents, your siblings, those around you. You seeing yourself as the creator of your own present and future.”
“Many people worry about the dreaded first date. Dating is a universal stressor. This is because rejection comes with the territory. Fear of being rejected or even the fear of having to reject someone can be overwhelming. Mix in unpleasant past experiences and questionable self-esteem and you have a recipe for dating distress!”
“When people rise up to a higher level of responsibility to self-observe and shift their attitudes and behaviors, the other person cannot help but shift their own. I sometimes refer to this as “changing the way we dance.”
by Linda Bloom, L.C.S.W., and Charlie Bloom, M.S.W.
“I have heard many women ask if they should downplay their intelligence or success when first meeting a potential partner. Absolutely not. It is important to be proud of who you are, what you have accomplished, and what you stand for. Not everyone is threatened by the accomplishments of others, and it is important to find a partner who values you for you. Additionally, if we are more explicit about what we are capable of, perhaps we can shift the dynamic and how people view powerful women.”