Gladly I still see the sun rising. Gladly I am alive.
‘Saying goodbye allows us to put words to feelings, shape how we remember someone, codify our choices, and frame distinct periods of time. In short, goodbyes give us a sense of closure as we move into the next phases of our lives.’ – Jo-Ann Finkelstein Ph.D.
“For one to be free there must be at least two.” – Zygmunt Bauman
The last goodbye kiss, is this our goodbye?
You and I the forging force of lovers
with so much unsaid and undone.
I remember. I will remember.
The most rewarding experiences come from different people who can align themselves in life together. Remember, perhaps tomorrow we might not be here, so as long as we are, be sure to surpass yourself to the point where the one you love will continue his or her’s prosperity even in your absence. Because you nurtured their individuality and saw who they were despite their ‘malfunctions’.
We are humans. We are fragile beings.
Would it be better to assume that we have no education for love and, perhaps, help is needed?
We have at least 90 years of credits to live. Please, live it wisely without constrictions or thinking about if acceptance by peers will be granted. Do not ever take anyone for granted, and be sure that from them. You learned the best.
We are indoctrinated since a young age by movies, songs, and role models that love is an automatic response. That we must find the perfect person, the soulmate, “the one”, and everything will flow. We aren’t taught or teaching our children how to deal with frustration. Different points of view, general differences on how to approach daily life matters.
Sadly, the rule now is if there is a difference, then the other person isn’t the right fit for us.
Men and women are spending too much time online and not cultivating their relationships correctly. The other side of the coin is that now everything is allowed and normalized, leading to permissive behaviors and blaming the uncomfortable partner for calling out those behaviors.
Nothing is set in stone, and as adults, we can change our lives and relational dynamics to a better place. Lastly, as human beings, we are emotionally responsible for ourselves but also for our loved ones. Be kind to you, be kind to the ones you love or once were loved by you.
Is every relationship worthy of saving if both partners are willing to do the work? Myth or true? The general rule is 90% of intimate relationships are worth saving. But they tend to fail because, over time, human needs aren’t being met, attachment styles are getting in the way, and finally, a profound misinterpretation of each other love language.
Permissiveness is the antidote to desire, emotional attraction, and intimate connection. As Gottman points out, in a committed relationship, we should maintain boundaries in our other relationships as a way to maintain not only the privacy of our commitment but also protect our partners.
Love is a skill to learn which requires open lines of communication. Communication about what is important. Substantial and divergent for each couplehood member.
As Rosenberg explains, in a world and culture in which silence cult is incited, judging individuals harshly for exposing their needs is our daily cup of tea. We often get scared and shocked when someone reveals parts of themselves essential to bond correctly with us (the real vulnerability). Everyone wants to possess the courage but is fearful of doing so.
You don’t have to live long to do the good for others. You simply have to be and pay attention to your surroundings.
Agriculture is affected by multiple factors. Climatic adversity, market prices, or political uncertainties. Farm bankruptcies, demanding workloads, lack of social support from cooperatives, and finally, relational conflicts or sabotaging behaviors based on envy from family members or companies managers that provide support services to farmers. Mental health risks among this population are well-documented. However, protective factors remain somehow unknown. (Liang et al., 2021)
It is impressive and enthralling how music can transport us to already experienced moments, how it can comfort us in painful moments such as a breakup or the loss of a loved one. Or to celebrate special events.
But, shall I ask, how often do we understand the message and lesson behind the lyric? What can a song teach about us, others, love, and relationships?
Online romance scams can happen on every online platform. But now besides regular dating apps, Instagram and even Facebook is the favorite place to scammers actions. Also, don’t think that only naive people or uneducated people fall into these schemes, quite the opposite.
Why does this happen? First of all, every human being, when seeking relationships, seek trait variety. In the evolutionary aspect of our species, we want the best genes for our offspring. Therefore, if online dating opens the gate of a wider range of possible partners from different nationalities, of course, we want to try that possibility.
According to Gottman (2019), true commitment means
that you create a wall around you and your partner with an open window between you. This wall around the two of you separates you from others in terms of your deepest emotional and physical connections (…) Also, if we’re committed, we have given this person everything we have to offer. There’s nothing left over for another lover. That’s a risky decision, but it’s essential. Without this level of commitment, love will not last. (pp.40, 41)
Everyone has a visceral and deep programming need to feel safe and seen.