“In times past, men and women tended to meet at work, through mutual friends, or at social venues such as church or sports clubs. In other words, their relationship was rooted in a pre-existing social ecology where others could generally be trusted. This could inhibit contemptible dating behavior as wrongdoers faced opprobrium from the pre-existing community.
However, no such social ecology exists within the world of dating apps. On the contrary, some dating app users can hide under a cloak of anonymity or deceit. This can include deception about personal characteristics such as age or profession, as well as dishonesty regarding intentions.”
“Stoics place a lot of value on…values — your principles, what you use to guide your life, you deciding the type of person you want to be. These are different from “shoulds” and rules that you may inherit from your parents, your culture. They are chosen by you, and you are responsible for putting them into practice daily.
The key here is again deciding what those values are; deciding and imaging the person you want to be and become, different from your parents, your siblings, those around you. You seeing yourself as the creator of your own present and future.”
“Many people worry about the dreaded first date. Dating is a universal stressor. This is because rejection comes with the territory. Fear of being rejected or even the fear of having to reject someone can be overwhelming. Mix in unpleasant past experiences and questionable self-esteem and you have a recipe for dating distress!”
“When people rise up to a higher level of responsibility to self-observe and shift their attitudes and behaviors, the other person cannot help but shift their own. I sometimes refer to this as “changing the way we dance.”
by Linda Bloom, L.C.S.W., and Charlie Bloom, M.S.W.
“I have heard many women ask if they should downplay their intelligence or success when first meeting a potential partner. Absolutely not. It is important to be proud of who you are, what you have accomplished, and what you stand for. Not everyone is threatened by the accomplishments of others, and it is important to find a partner who values you for you. Additionally, if we are more explicit about what we are capable of, perhaps we can shift the dynamic and how people view powerful women.”
“In today´s world, many partners live apart. Not just in different zip codes, but in different cities and time zones, sometimes in different parts of the world. Job opportunities, educational aspirations, and family responsibilities often separate couples for extended periods of time, relegating their communication to long distance methods of maintaining relational quality and intimacy. In fact, some couples have always lived apart. The prevalence of online dating offers access to a global pool of potential suitors, which can result in matches made in heaven geographically challenged on earth.”
“Daddy issues aren’t really about you. They’re about your dad. Too often women are given the label of having “daddy issues,” as though they’re the ones to blame for their wounds. Being told you have daddy issues can bring up shame and hurt. But really, your dad is responsible for not meeting your needs. If your dad had issues and wasn’t able to be emotionally available, why wouldn’t you be wounded? Daddy issues are nothing to be ashamed of. You’re not defective or damaged. Your needs weren’t met, and you now have healing to do.”
“The more time a person invests emotionally in a relationship (even an overall negative one), the more a person will persevere to try to make it work (even though it hasn’t been working, resulting in a tricky cycle). And because there is still basic attachment and love in such relationships, any self-awareness, any intellectual truths, are pushed to the side, and their choices become heavily ruled by their emotions.”
“With few exceptions, human beings want to be emotionally and physically close to each other. Life seems better shared. And yet no area of human endeavor seems more fraught with challenges and difficulties than our relationships with others. Relationships, like most things in life worth having, require effort.”
Contrary to what has been published today in the Portuguese media, we are not celebrating 200 years of a new national constitution. Which only occurred in 1822. We are celebrating the end of more than one decade of French and then British dominance. We are mourning the loss of Brazil as part of our international territory (1822), and mourning the achievements we had as a liberal nation which were captured and ridiculed in the XX and XXI century, by conservative reactionaryism and small minds, fueling lobbies interests and perpetuation of inequalities.
“When we genuinely trust another person, the dynamics flow more smoothly and openly. A good relationship is when two people acknowledge each other’s past, support each other’s presence, and love each other enough to nurture their future. The most basic and influential way to connect with another person is to listen.”
“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
“One study published in Menopause Journal titled, “Extended maternal age at birth of last child and women’s longevity in the Long Life Family Study,” reported that women who birthed their last child after they were 33 saw a “significant association for older maternal age,” and had greater odds of living to 95.
Previous findings, from The New England Centenarian Study, found that women who gave birth after age 40 “were four times more likely to live to 100 or longer than were women who gave birth at younger ages.
A 2018 Pew study, “They’re Waiting Longer…” points out women ages 40-44 who have never been married have had a baby. Pew reassures those who are bombarded with questions that although women are having babies later, “Women are more likely now to become mothers than they were a decade ago.””
“Being able to see the ways in which you grow after a breakup doesn’t take away the sadness, pain, or feelings of loss. But it can help increase your resilience and make it easier to bounce back from the experience. Some of us have more difficulty looking for these signs of growth than others, and for some of us it takes longer to get there. But if you start looking, you’ll very likely start to see some ways that you have grown in the process. And that growth is going to be part of the self that you move forward with into the rest of your life.”
“Women in particular typically “tend and befriend” others, as an evolved survival mechanism. If women are unable to maintain a relationship or friendship, they may feel disappointed in themselves, not just their partners or friends. The inability to keep a relationship on track, even if the other person is to blame, can be perceived as a personal failure.
Eventually, the loss will begin to feel more like your history, not your present. In fact, research suggests that relationships that are unsatisfying or marred with unpleasant interactions are worse for your emotional well-being than an absence of romance or friendships.”
“The song is completely innocuous. However, Cher’s vocals on the song made many people assume she was a man. Because of this, people interpreted “Ringo, I Love You” as a gay love song. Subsequently, “Ringo, I Love You” was banned from the majority of radio stations. The song was a commercial flop.”
In both women and men, lube enhances skin sensitivity to erotic touch. Many women of all ages don’t self-lubricate sufficiently for comfortable intercourse. And many post-menopausal women suffer chronic vaginal dryness. As a result, many sexologists encourage couples of all ages to use lube every time.
“All of us have unresolved childhood hurts due to betrayal, anger, manipulation, or abuse. Unconsciously, we seek healing through our partner. And we try to achieve this healing by bonding with someone we sense might hurt us in similar ways to how we were hurt as children, in the hope that we can then convince him or her to finally love and accept us.
Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which remind us of how we were wounded the most.”