“All of us have unresolved childhood hurts due to betrayal, anger, manipulation, or abuse. Unconsciously, we seek healing through our partner. And we try to achieve this healing by bonding with someone we sense might hurt us in similar ways to how we were hurt as children, in the hope that we can then convince him or her to finally love and accept us.
Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which remind us of how we were wounded the most.”
“A society that properly loved children would know that the single greatest contribution to children’s welfare is the removal of the idea that everyone should automatically have them. A good society would give equal prestige to childless and childful states. We best honor children, the born and the unborn, by accepting that parenting should never be the automatic choice – just as the wisest way to ensure that people will have happy marriages is to destigmatize the single state.”
“Unfortunately, most of the individuals don’t understand that social platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and common dating apps. Such as Tinder or OkCupid are made to addict our brain and change the way we relate and perceive relationships. The usage of algorithms is a common way that those platforms use to manipulate your emotions and needs. The neuroscience behind social media is to make you crave more, more validation, more attention, more praise, and for that reason, in your feeds tend to appear more the posts of people who you add recently to testify your compatibility.”
“Women don’t need partners who invest all their energy in trying to prove how strong, manly, masculine, macho, or heroic they are. They just want men who are willing to meet them where they are and treat them fairly and equitably — and are able to make sure that the romantic spark keeps burning.”
At ancient cultures, like Roman and Greek, if we take a look at how male statuettes are made, their penises are surprisingly small with clear evidence that what matters is the body structure and testicles form. In this period, virility and potency were centered in the testicles, and the penis was only the instrument of sperm passage for fertilization. This idea that small is perfection lasted till renaissance.
“Babies are soft. Anyone looking at them can see the tender, fragile skin and know it for the rose-leaf softness that invites a finger’s touch. But when you live with them and love them, you feel the softness going inward, the round-cheeked flesh wobbly as custard, the boneless splay of the tiny hands.”
“To master the terror of another letdown, we go cold, we respond sarcastically to sincere compliments and insist with aggression that they don’t really care for us at all, thereby ensuring that they eventually won’t.
To escape these debilitating cycles, we need to accept that we’re searching for someone to love us while wrestling with the most fateful of background suspicions: that we don’t in any way deserve love.”
“Are you a woman of impact? Whether you are impacting your family, your work group, your community or the world, you are wielding your power. The more you accept that you are powerful, the more good you can do.”
“Half the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don’t mean to do harm, but the harm (that they cause) does not interest them. Or they do not see it, or they justify it because they are absorbed in the endless struggle to think well of themselves.” —T.S. Eliot
“Levitan quotes the research of psychologist Dorothy Tennov who found that the duration of infatuation typically lasts at most “between approximately 18 months and three years.” Circumstances like a long-distance relationship or chronic relationship insecurity may artificially extend the tingling phenomenon, at the cost of delaying the shift either into a departure from the relationship or into commitment to a mature and reliable love partnership.”
Does your boyfriend or girlfriend’s family drive you crazy? Come to think of it, I don’t know anyone who’s family doesn’t drive them nuts. Let’s be honest, we all have family issues. It’s okay. Just laugh at another funny barbie video where Barb shows us what lengths she is willing to go to maintain some form of sanity.
“Although still stigmatized in our culture, sex addiction has steadily gained recognition in the public consciousness over the past decade, resulting in a host of treatment centers, rehabs, support groups and specialized therapists. What is less talked about, but equally devastating, is “sexual anorexia,” a concept that refers to the compulsive avoidance of sexual nourishment and intimacy.”
“The more we see love as an ethereal concept, the more we lose sight of the specific behaviors that make love an active expression of our feelings for others. When we see love as a product of action, however, we can look into ourselves and our relationships with fresh eyes and examine how loving we truly are.”
“The silent treatment, even if it’s brief, activates the anterior cingulate cortex – the part of the brain that detects physical pain. The initial pain is the same, regardless of whether the exclusion is by partners, strangers, close friends or enemies.
The silent treatment happens when one partner pressures the other with requests, criticism or complaints and the other responds with silence and emotional distance.”
Learn how to survive and thrive in an age of bullshit, but most importantly, don’t dump good and real men or women just because you think you can do better. The paradox of choice is here to confuse you and tear you apart from real love.