Our current hookup culture and the rise of online dating apps have made emotional unavailability a new normal (Garcia, et. al 2012). That’s why we see so many people feeling entitled to all the benefits of one intimate relationship without actually being in one. Older and younger generations are becoming accustomed to the idea of having another date or rebound at their fingertips, without doing the inner work of healing from past relationships or their self-esteem.
Think about this: “Whether it’s society’s pressure, our culture, or the drive to try and make everyone happy around us, we all face obstacles to going deeper within our reality. This can leave us feeling unfulfilled, anxious, and depressed, searching for meaning outside ourselves, and trying anything to develop a real connection. Many of us feel […]
“There are some people who refuse to believe that it is their problem that they cannot deeply and consistently love someone who loves them. They convince themselves that if they do not love someone, it is because it is the other person’s fault. They believe that there is a perfect person out there that they will find it easy to love. Each time they become infatuated with someone new, they idealize this person. Then as they inevitably discover the person’s flaws, they become disillusioned, and devalue, and discard them.”
“The single best way to accelerate the healing process after a breakup or divorce is this: Stop contact with the ex.”
“You may think it’s selfish to focus on your needs, but it’s the job your brain evolved to do. If you invest your energy in the needs of the energy vampire instead, your brain will alarm you with cortisol. This doesn’t mean you should follow your short run impulses, since long-term consequences trigger cortisol if you don’t account for them. It means your brain will reward you with a good feeling if you stay focused on your needs, whether others consent or not.”
“A digital detox can give time for introspection and renewal. It can be a positive for mental and physical health, and create a new space for alternative health-promoting activities
Try it and see for yourself.”
Don’t paint your future with gray colors because of what it might have been, but with cheerful colors because you are sure and alive in the present moment.
“Infertility can have a profound impact on one’s mental health. When men and women find out that they can’t conceive, they may experience the same painful emotions as anyone coping with grief or profound loss. Common reactions include shock, frustration, grief, anger, decreased self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, but feelings about infertility can vary greatly depending on the source of the problems. Men, in particular, find it far easier to deal with a partner’s infertility than with their own.”
Emotional trauma and fear of intimacy is one good cocktail to sabotage intimate relationships when they become real, because when there are unresolved issues. Small behaviors can trigger the old memories you have in your brain and projecting them in the present moment, causing anxiety, and the need to escape.
“A growing body of research indicates that spending more time in natural green spaces such as parks, woodlands, mountains, and beaches has healing properties and underscores the importance of nature on your mental and physical health and well-being.
Previous studies showed that living in greener urban areas is linked to lower incidences of heart disease, obesity, diabetes, asthma, mental distress, and mortality rates. The decades-old Japanese practice of forest bathing or shinrin-yoku (which means “taking in the forest”) is believed to provide stress reduction, relaxation, and deeper insights into life.”
Bryan E. Robinson Ph.D.