Why it’s so important to honor your roots and know your protocol when relating to others? Your roots, your cultural background is part of who you are as an individual. It’s the map that guides you in social interactions. Then what is your protocol? Your protocol is your ability to understand what you want and need to be happy. The protocol is the base that sustains the longevity of your relationship, where clarity and communication is the key to solve misunderstandings and mismatch information.
They dump you because you were too good to be true?
There are some individuals when they found what they always wanted (mentally). They think there is one agenda behind the good, or you try to use them. But you know what? Never, ever be less! Never be the less of what you are to accept less of what you deserve/want.
Acknowledge one thing for your entire life: You aren’t too much or too intense for someone who wants the same as you. You will be that for men and women who don’t know who they are or what they want in life.
“Relationships is an area where we too often get stuck, unable to make ourselves understood or find the sort of love we need. This is largely due to a myth that loving another human should be something we all naturally know how to do. Far from it; we believe that love is a skill, not just an emotion – and that it’s a skill we all have to learn and carefully rehearse.”
“When we want to experience real love, we have to have tools in our hands to help us to overcome the hardships of daily life. It’s easy to disconnect from the ones we love and call it quits when there is so much to explore and learn. Falling out of love is a real feeling but also means a new opportunity to discover who we are and our partners are. It is also one opportunity for both parties to see where they failed, and understand that our inner children need to be healed.”
Why couples get lost from each other? They don’t update their love maps. What is a love map? Love Map is a person’s emotional, internal blueprint for their ideal erotic, sexual situations.
“My Papa told me to stay out of trouble:
“When you’ve found your man, make sure he’s for real!”.
I’ve learned that nothing really lasts forever
I sleep with the scars I wear that won’t heal.
They won’t heal
Cos everytime I seem to fall in love
Crash! Boom! Bang!
I find the heart but then I hit the wall
Crash! Boom! Bang!
That’s the call, that’s the game and the pain stays the same.”
Those who are resilient are able to believe in themselves and their ability to effectively manage life’s challenges. Also, those who are more resilient than others tend to be more proactive and are more inclined to work hard to prevent certain issues and illnesses from occurring. It might be their only key to survival.
Emotional anorexia means that you are in a state of emotional starvation. Just as irritability and anger happen when your blood glucose levels go down, when you don’t have enough “psychological sugar”, your emotional “blood levels” also decrease.
“Men can and have had sex with other men, or have fantasies about it, generally come from a place of sexual abuse and a need to override those dark emotions with positive experiences. Otherwise, it could just be a sexual fantasy that may or may not require therapy, one thing is positive however, a level of honesty with the wife is vital to the health of the relationship.”
“Good relationships take commitment and work and helping the other partner grow and mature throughout both the good and bad times. The partners within them must keep learning from each other and are willing to acknowledge the mistakes they make along the way.”
“Compulsive use of dating apps can change your focus to short-term hookups instead of developing long-term relationships. And this behavior has a direct correlation with dopamine and other hormones. People now are seeking fast validation and fast love creating poor connections.”
“Tech companies understand what causes dopamine surges in the brain and they lace their products with ‘hijacking techniques’ that lure us in and create ‘compulsion loops’.” Most social media sites create irregularly timed rewards, Brooks wrote, a technique long employed by the makers of slot machines, based on the work of the American psychologist BF Skinner, who found that the strongest way to reinforce a learned behaviour in rats is to reward it on a random schedule. “When a gambler feels favoured by luck, dopamine is released,” says Natasha Schüll, a professor at New York University and author of Addiction By Design: Machine Gambling in Las Vegas. This is the secret to Facebook’s era-defining success: we compulsively check the site because we never know when the delicious ting of social affirmation may sound.”
“When we are acting from our Integrity, what we could call our authentic self, we don’t try. We don’t’ have a need to try. We just take action. We don’t concern ourselves with whether what we are doing is the right thing. We also don’t have a need to justify or defend what we are doing to anybody. This includes ourselves. The action comes from the heart and is with love, that is how we know it is true. There are not many men or women of integrity. Most people second guess themselves. When a person with emotional integrity makes a mistake, or fails in their endeavor, they don’t judge themselves. They know they did their best and the mind does not create an internal conflict with self judgment.”
“Phubbing is a dopamine slot machine that keeps you away from real relationships.
Phubbing is the act of snubbing people in favor of a phone, is a disrespectful, harmful, and a habit that can ruin relationships.”
“Everywhere we see and hear people writing and talking that we are living in a life period where everything is faster. But no one tells you how to stop and give attention to your life and relationships.”
“Remind yourself of the things you love about your partner. Every night, before you go to sleep, think about why you are grateful to have him or her in your life. Research shows that being grateful deepens relationships. An unexpected outcome of those studies is that being grateful also makes us more kind.”
We all try to find the true definition of intimacy, but can it be found between words? Intimacy happens at the psychological level, the sense of belonging, the feeling of being alive, content and ecstatic.
For this new week, the question is: What is essential in your life? Watch the video and enjoy life. Don’t let fear stop you, improve your argument. With love, Alexandra
“Focus less on creating the perfect social media story and enjoy the time you spend with your partner and friends in real time in the real world. If everything is distilled through a website, you aren’t making the most of the time you spend together.”