“The more we see love as an ethereal concept, the more we lose sight of the specific behaviors that make love an active expression of our feelings for others. When we see love as a product of action, however, we can look into ourselves and our relationships with fresh eyes and examine how loving we truly are.”
More than talk about toxicity, we should replace the word toxicity for wound, and reflect on how much we can learn from it and use it to build our singular identity.
“You cannot heal the abandonment wounds until you allow yourself to fully experience your authentic feeling responses to the suffering of past abandonments and that which continues to play out in your present-day relationships. Acknowledge what you’ve gone through and what you’re currently experiencing in your relationships and other aspects of your life. Notice what you’re feeling in response to these concerns. And then be sure to breathe softly and deeply while centering your awareness within any feelings that arise.”
Being around people who don’t know if they like you cause tension and emotional exhaustion. Living in situations of uncertainty generates insecurity and, consequently, emotional instability that will have repercussions on a physical level.
Chose good people to stay with you!
We shouldn’t give up on love; we should just recognize that it’s a skill, not an emotion.
“When we feel loved, there is no space for confusion because words are perfectly in tune with behavior. Words and gestures seem to spin and dance with no clouds full of doubts over your head.”
In life and love, you are a natural animal who wants to belong and attach to other people. But in the middle of all this freedom around sex, bad behavior, and detachment. We lost rules and the protocol and ability to speak up our truth and needs. Everyone is scared of being hurt, but let me clarify here one thing: love has no guarantees, and love only grow and flourish when you have no armor or guarded up.
Although some relationships will fail naturally, others fail because people have this idea that good partners are pushovers or too good to be true. This fallacy leads many men and women to have mayonnaise relationships or love in mayonnaise because of fear of being hurt, and someone will take advantage of them.
Don’t be afraid to say what are your real intentions and that you love someone. There is nothing much more powerful than sharing your feelings and honor your love. Life is too short to think afterward what if I…
Being the “black sheep” means you don’t sell yourself away based on what you hear and what people try to sell you into it. You keep your voice, your standards, and your individuality.
On the Journey of Love, loving on another means giving the light and teaching that exists uncomfortable truths about us. Teaching it is not one assault or that you are saying goodbye to love, but rather embracing another human being by living up to the true meaning of real love. In the intricacies of romanticism darkness, we rebel against our partners, and we feel betrayed because they want to change us. It is legitimate to change, and legitimate to teach because love is the ultimate aspiration where you reveal your true potential.
More than often, we reject good people, because they seem “too good” for us and well the explanation for that is quite simple. We are not looking for romantic love, we are looking, somehow, for familiar love.
“Many of us aren’t consciously aware of the ways they may be afraid of love. We may see the real problem in the relationship as being the ways it’s changed. We may list all the issues our partner has, the way he no longer looks at us or she no longer treats us. Or, we may notice our own behavior changing, and chalk that up to no longer feeling the same way toward our partner. However, the real question to ask is why did these dynamics shift in the first place? The answer to that often has to do with fear and fantasy.”
“Relationships is an area where we too often get stuck, unable to make ourselves understood or find the sort of love we need. This is largely due to a myth that loving another human should be something we all naturally know how to do. Far from it; we believe that love is a skill, not just an emotion – and that it’s a skill we all have to learn and carefully rehearse.”
Why couples get lost from each other? They don’t update their love maps. What is a love map? Love Map is a person’s emotional, internal blueprint for their ideal erotic, sexual situations.
“Good relationships take commitment and work and helping the other partner grow and mature throughout both the good and bad times. The partners within them must keep learning from each other and are willing to acknowledge the mistakes they make along the way.”
“Compulsive use of dating apps can change your focus to short-term hookups instead of developing long-term relationships. And this behavior has a direct correlation with dopamine and other hormones. People now are seeking fast validation and fast love creating poor connections.”
“Tech companies understand what causes dopamine surges in the brain and they lace their products with ‘hijacking techniques’ that lure us in and create ‘compulsion loops’.” Most social media sites create irregularly timed rewards, Brooks wrote, a technique long employed by the makers of slot machines, based on the work of the American psychologist BF Skinner, who found that the strongest way to reinforce a learned behaviour in rats is to reward it on a random schedule. “When a gambler feels favoured by luck, dopamine is released,” says Natasha Schüll, a professor at New York University and author of Addiction By Design: Machine Gambling in Las Vegas. This is the secret to Facebook’s era-defining success: we compulsively check the site because we never know when the delicious ting of social affirmation may sound.”
“When we are acting from our Integrity, what we could call our authentic self, we don’t try. We don’t’ have a need to try. We just take action. We don’t concern ourselves with whether what we are doing is the right thing. We also don’t have a need to justify or defend what we are doing to anybody. This includes ourselves. The action comes from the heart and is with love, that is how we know it is true. There are not many men or women of integrity. Most people second guess themselves. When a person with emotional integrity makes a mistake, or fails in their endeavor, they don’t judge themselves. They know they did their best and the mind does not create an internal conflict with self judgment.”
“Everywhere we see and hear people writing and talking that we are living in a life period where everything is faster. But no one tells you how to stop and give attention to your life and relationships.”