We are indoctrinated since a young age by movies, songs, and role models that love is an automatic response. That we must find the perfect person, the soulmate, “the one”, and everything will flow. We aren’t taught or teaching our children how to deal with frustration. Different points of view, general differences on how to approach daily life matters.
Sadly, the rule now is if there is a difference, then the other person isn’t the right fit for us.
Men and women are spending too much time online and not cultivating their relationships correctly. The other side of the coin is that now everything is allowed and normalized, leading to permissive behaviors and blaming the uncomfortable partner for calling out those behaviors.
Nothing is set in stone, and as adults, we can change our lives and relational dynamics to a better place. Lastly, as human beings, we are emotionally responsible for ourselves but also for our loved ones. Be kind to you, be kind to the ones you love or once were loved by you.
Is every relationship worthy of saving if both partners are willing to do the work? Myth or true? The general rule is 90% of intimate relationships are worth saving. But they tend to fail because, over time, human needs aren’t being met, attachment styles are getting in the way, and finally, a profound misinterpretation of each other love language.
Permissiveness is the antidote to desire, emotional attraction, and intimate connection. As Gottman points out, in a committed relationship, we should maintain boundaries in our other relationships as a way to maintain not only the privacy of our commitment but also protect our partners.
As Rosenberg explains, in a world and culture in which silence cult is incited, judging individuals harshly for exposing their needs is our daily cup of tea. We often get scared and shocked when someone reveals parts of themselves essential to bond correctly with us (the real vulnerability). Everyone wants to possess the courage but is fearful of doing so.
Agriculture is affected by multiple factors. Climatic adversity, market prices, or political uncertainties. Farm bankruptcies, demanding workloads, lack of social support from cooperatives, and finally, relational conflicts or sabotaging behaviors based on envy from family members or companies managers that provide support services to farmers. Mental health risks among this population are well-documented. However, protective factors remain somehow unknown. (Liang et al., 2021)
Online romance scams can happen on every online platform. But now besides regular dating apps, Instagram and even Facebook is the favorite place to scammers actions. Also, don’t think that only naive people or uneducated people fall into these schemes, quite the opposite.
Why does this happen? First of all, every human being, when seeking relationships, seek trait variety. In the evolutionary aspect of our species, we want the best genes for our offspring. Therefore, if online dating opens the gate of a wider range of possible partners from different nationalities, of course, we want to try that possibility.
According to Gottman (2019), true commitment means
that you create a wall around you and your partner with an open window between you. This wall around the two of you separates you from others in terms of your deepest emotional and physical connections (…) Also, if we’re committed, we have given this person everything we have to offer. There’s nothing left over for another lover. That’s a risky decision, but it’s essential. Without this level of commitment, love will not last. (pp.40, 41)
The purpose of learning how and to say NO is the synonym of stopping yourself from putting the value of your life in the hands of people with doormat brains. Judgment doesn’t exist per se. Because someone who doesn’t know who or she is is incapable of judging others. Think about this when you are ruminating about what others think about you.
We can’t change people, heal, or save them from the fall because our responsibility is to show up consistently in relationships and intimate dynamics. Like we should do in all the areas of our lives. But as long as we are with them, we must lead the way and be there for them no matter what. Relationships are schools, so take the best of it!
Parents should be emotional regulators and the prefrontal cortex of their children. Children’s prefrontal cortex will only develop between the age of 5 and 8, where you will see a major improvement in working memory, planning, selective attention, and inhibition…
The way you interact with them from a young age will be how they will interact with others in the future. So be wise, be present, with the understanding that you are responsible for the impact your children will have in the world and somebody else’s lives.
Even though this might sound like an advertising quote, for men or even women in the dating realm is important they stop making assumptions about somebody else behavior. Getting real about your needs and wantings within an intimate relationship is the first step or key to move forward in the direction you want to be. Because the truth is knowing core needs or the requirements to feel safe in a relationship or by yourself isn’t only attractive. It will work as a selective process between who deserves to stay in your life from who doesn’t.
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Be it in intimate relationships or company environments, financial and power abuse is the daily bread of many people’s lives. It is serious, detrimental, impactful, and can lead to suicide if the person doesn’t have the necessary support in all life’s spheres to recover from pressure. While it is true that the way we deal with difficulties reveals a lot about our personality, it is also true that law and the system itself aren’t formed to protect people, quite the opposite.