“You know something is up when your boyfriend or girlfriend bae tells you “we need to talk.” Most of the time it can be a pretty ominous sign that you really screwed up in your relationship. But dating can be full of surprises and sometimes it’s not as bad as it seems! We hope…”
“Love can be hard to receive when we’re not fundamentally convinced of our own loveability. We spend our time seeking out those who can make us suffer in ways that feel familiar. And it becomes natural to assume that a kind lover has missed something – and perhaps then to try to behave in disgusting ways just to make sure they understand we’re really not who they thought we were, and will therefore leave us in painful but somehow psychologically gratifying ways.”
More than often, we reject good people, because they seem “too good” for us and well the explanation for that is quite simple. We are not looking for romantic love, we are looking, somehow, for familiar love.
Be smart and part of men and women population who do what few can do, love each other, and be resilient even when “death” is just around the corner.
“Many of us aren’t consciously aware of the ways they may be afraid of love. We may see the real problem in the relationship as being the ways it’s changed. We may list all the issues our partner has, the way he no longer looks at us or she no longer treats us. Or, we may notice our own behavior changing, and chalk that up to no longer feeling the same way toward our partner. However, the real question to ask is why did these dynamics shift in the first place? The answer to that often has to do with fear and fantasy.”
“Relationships is an area where we too often get stuck, unable to make ourselves understood or find the sort of love we need. This is largely due to a myth that loving another human should be something we all naturally know how to do. Far from it; we believe that love is a skill, not just an emotion – and that it’s a skill we all have to learn and carefully rehearse.”
“Sexual satisfaction for both the anxiously attached and the avoidant is constricted; the anxious partner is preoccupied with being loved, and the avoidant partner is determined to stay detached….The most satisfying and orgasmic sex, what I call ‘synchrony sex,‘ occurs when partners are securely attached
A secure bond is characterized by emotional openness and responsiveness in the bedroom as well as out. That leads to better communication and engaged, focused attention, which in turn leads to greater arousal, pleasure, and satisfaction….Think about it. If you trust that your partner is there for you, then you can relax and let go without fear of embarrassment or rejection. Safety fosters a willingness to experiment, take risks, and be fully immersed in the sexual encounter. Sex becomes more spontaneous, passionate, and joyful.”