“Technology gives us a sense of control over our lives; basically, we’re able to hold our world in the palm of our hand. Since social media initiated more quantitative measures of “friends,” “shares,” and “likes,” human connection has become increasingly mechanized. This creates a distance from the actual person with whom we are interacting and can make a relationship more transactional than if we had to speak face to face. We may not even recognize the effect our behaviors have on others.”
“In times past, men and women tended to meet at work, through mutual friends, or at social venues such as church or sports clubs. In other words, their relationship was rooted in a pre-existing social ecology where others could generally be trusted. This could inhibit contemptible dating behavior as wrongdoers faced opprobrium from the pre-existing community.
However, no such social ecology exists within the world of dating apps. On the contrary, some dating app users can hide under a cloak of anonymity or deceit. This can include deception about personal characteristics such as age or profession, as well as dishonesty regarding intentions.”
“Many people worry about the dreaded first date. Dating is a universal stressor. This is because rejection comes with the territory. Fear of being rejected or even the fear of having to reject someone can be overwhelming. Mix in unpleasant past experiences and questionable self-esteem and you have a recipe for dating distress!”
“In today´s world, many partners live apart. Not just in different zip codes, but in different cities and time zones, sometimes in different parts of the world. Job opportunities, educational aspirations, and family responsibilities often separate couples for extended periods of time, relegating their communication to long distance methods of maintaining relational quality and intimacy. In fact, some couples have always lived apart. The prevalence of online dating offers access to a global pool of potential suitors, which can result in matches made in heaven geographically challenged on earth.”
“With few exceptions, human beings want to be emotionally and physically close to each other. Life seems better shared. And yet no area of human endeavor seems more fraught with challenges and difficulties than our relationships with others. Relationships, like most things in life worth having, require effort.”
“Unfortunately, most of the individuals don’t understand that social platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and common dating apps. Such as Tinder or OkCupid are made to addict our brain and change the way we relate and perceive relationships. The usage of algorithms is a common way that those platforms use to manipulate your emotions and needs. The neuroscience behind social media is to make you crave more, more validation, more attention, more praise, and for that reason, in your feeds tend to appear more the posts of people who you add recently to testify your compatibility.”
“A strong you to a narcissist individual means that they are less than. And they can never ever be less than. They are powerless when their whole life revolves around getting power over other people. Feeling a deep sense of powerlessness in their childhood is what turned them into a narcissist in the first place, remember. You’re poking at a core wound. That’s why it’s so scary for them.”
Our current hookup culture and the rise of online dating apps have made emotional unavailability a new normal (Garcia, et. al 2012). That’s why we see so many people feeling entitled to all the benefits of one intimate relationship without actually being in one. Older and younger generations are becoming accustomed to the idea of having another date or rebound at their fingertips, without doing the inner work of healing from past relationships or their self-esteem.
Being around people who don’t know if they like you cause tension and emotional exhaustion. Living in situations of uncertainty generates insecurity and, consequently, emotional instability that will have repercussions on a physical level.
Chose good people to stay with you!
Don’t be afraid to say what are your real intentions and that you love someone. There is nothing much more powerful than sharing your feelings and honor your love. Life is too short to think afterward what if I…
Acknowledge one thing for your entire life: You aren’t too much or too intense for someone who wants the same as you. You will be that for men and women who don’t know who they are or what they want in life.
“Focus less on creating the perfect social media story and enjoy the time you spend with your partner and friends in real time in the real world. If everything is distilled through a website, you aren’t making the most of the time you spend together.”
But now, here’s the definition of “breadcrumbing”: The act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages to members of the opposite sex in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort.