Psychologically structured individuals do not come from an easy life. But because with suffering, one grows.
Gladly I still see the sun rising. Gladly I am alive.
The most rewarding experiences come from different people who can align themselves in life together. Remember, perhaps tomorrow we might not be here, so as long as we are, be sure to surpass yourself to the point where the one you love will continue his or her’s prosperity even in your absence. Because you nurtured their individuality and saw who they were despite their ‘malfunctions’.
We are humans. We are fragile beings.
Would it be better to assume that we have no education for love and, perhaps, help is needed?
We are indoctrinated since a young age by movies, songs, and role models that love is an automatic response. That we must find the perfect person, the soulmate, “the one”, and everything will flow. We aren’t taught or teaching our children how to deal with frustration. Different points of view, general differences on how to approach daily life matters.
Sadly, the rule now is if there is a difference, then the other person isn’t the right fit for us.
Nothing is set in stone, and as adults, we can change our lives and relational dynamics to a better place. Lastly, as human beings, we are emotionally responsible for ourselves but also for our loved ones. Be kind to you, be kind to the ones you love or once were loved by you.
Is every relationship worthy of saving if both partners are willing to do the work? Myth or true? The general rule is 90% of intimate relationships are worth saving. But they tend to fail because, over time, human needs aren’t being met, attachment styles are getting in the way, and finally, a profound misinterpretation of each other love language.
Permissiveness is the antidote to desire, emotional attraction, and intimate connection. As Gottman points out, in a committed relationship, we should maintain boundaries in our other relationships as a way to maintain not only the privacy of our commitment but also protect our partners.
You don’t have to live long to do the good for others. You simply have to be and pay attention to your surroundings.
According to Gottman (2019), true commitment means
that you create a wall around you and your partner with an open window between you. This wall around the two of you separates you from others in terms of your deepest emotional and physical connections (…) Also, if we’re committed, we have given this person everything we have to offer. There’s nothing left over for another lover. That’s a risky decision, but it’s essential. Without this level of commitment, love will not last. (pp.40, 41)
The purpose of learning how and to say NO is the synonym of stopping yourself from putting the value of your life in the hands of people with doormat brains. Judgment doesn’t exist per se. Because someone who doesn’t know who or she is is incapable of judging others. Think about this when you are ruminating about what others think about you.
Everything we do is physiological because our subconscious fears and desires drive our motivations and actions through emotions. (Think about it!)
Between grey or sunny days, always be sure to choose what is correct for your stability and emotional well-being.
“Resilient individuals find a calling and dedicate themselves to what gives life purpose. Pursuing a meaningful purpose may involve stress and pain in the short run but over the long run brings meaning (e.g., raising children, seeking personal growth, training for a marathon). People with a sense of purpose feel less anxiety and stress (Hagerty, 2016). As Nietzsche remarked, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”
Shahram Heshmat Ph.D.
“In the run up to International Women’s Day last week, the Diversity Council of Australia (DCA) published a list of 8 common myths about workplace sexual harassment. One of these myths is the belief that sexual harassment only happens to straight women, when in reality it happens to people of all genders and sexual orientations.
According to report by Rebecca DiGriolamo in the The Advertiser (Adelaide), nearly 1 in 2 complaints of sexual harassment accepted by the commission in 2017/2018 were made by men.
Sexual harassment against men at work is more common than most people think. Research by the Australian Human Rights Commission has found that 23% of women and 16% of men experienced sexual harassment at work in Australia in 2018.”
by Australian Men’s Health Forum
Like cognitive neuroscience teach us, when it comes to intimate relationships, we should choose “boring” and not “over the top” candidates. Not because we are picky or mean, but because “the spark” isn’t necessarily a good thing or a reliable source of information if someone will be the right partner for you. “Chemistry” is a cocktail of lust and danger that wrings the dopamine out of your neurotransmitters.
“It is critical to understand that sensitivity is a temperament—an aspect of personality, such as introversion or extroversion, which is believed to be innate rather than learned. It has been estimated that 15 to 20 percent of the population has a Highly Sensitive temperament. It occurs about equally for men and women. Being an HSP is not considered to be a disorder or malfunction. Unfortunately, in spite of being a significant percentage of the population, HSPs are still not well understood, and their particular challenges are not often recognized.”
Dianne Grande Ph.D.
“Aging is a passage, one that doesn’t have to be a devolution, but a process of renewal and movement toward beauty, in all the ways we personally choose to define it.”
Holly Parker, Ph.D.
“In times past, men and women tended to meet at work, through mutual friends, or at social venues such as church or sports clubs. In other words, their relationship was rooted in a pre-existing social ecology where others could generally be trusted. This could inhibit contemptible dating behavior as wrongdoers faced opprobrium from the pre-existing community.
However, no such social ecology exists within the world of dating apps. On the contrary, some dating app users can hide under a cloak of anonymity or deceit. This can include deception about personal characteristics such as age or profession, as well as dishonesty regarding intentions.”
by Rob Whitley, Ph.D.
What is a “situationship”? Considering all the possible labels that we are using now to define intimate relationships, a “situationship” is a relationship that hasn’t been define yet.
by Alexandra Maria dos Santos