“In the run up to International Women’s Day last week, the Diversity Council of Australia (DCA) published a list of 8 common myths about workplace sexual harassment. One of these myths is the belief that sexual harassment only happens to straight women, when in reality it happens to people of all genders and sexual orientations.
According to report by Rebecca DiGriolamo in the The Advertiser (Adelaide), nearly 1 in 2 complaints of sexual harassment accepted by the commission in 2017/2018 were made by men.
Sexual harassment against men at work is more common than most people think. Research by the Australian Human Rights Commission has found that 23% of women and 16% of men experienced sexual harassment at work in Australia in 2018.”
Like cognitive neuroscience teach us, when it comes to intimate relationships, we should choose “boring” and not “over the top” candidates. Not because we are picky or mean, but because “the spark” isn’t necessarily a good thing or a reliable source of information if someone will be the right partner for you. “Chemistry” is a cocktail of lust and danger that wrings the dopamine out of your neurotransmitters.
“When you go through a breakup, especially one that’s unexpected, your body may register it as an emergency and go into “fight-or-flight” mode. Being in this state triggers the release of hormones that can prepare your body to stay and deal with a threat or to run away to safety. It can also trigger a rapid heartbeat or trembling.
Our muscles tense, we lose our appetite, we may experience [gastrointestinal] disruption, and we’re likely to have trouble falling asleep. Being in this physically hyper-vigilant state over a period of time can lead to headaches, stomachaches, and muscle soreness”
“People with healthy narcissism have a quiet, comfortable confidence. They are aware of their strengths as well as their shortcomings, and view both as essential to their wholeness. They know they are not perfect, and have no expectations or intentions to be so. People with healthy egos view themselves as learners who are constantly growing, and are not at all seduced into trying to be better than others.”
“The more time a person invests emotionally in a relationship (even an overall negative one), the more a person will persevere to try to make it work (even though it hasn’t been working, resulting in a tricky cycle). And because there is still basic attachment and love in such relationships, any self-awareness, any intellectual truths, are pushed to the side, and their choices become heavily ruled by their emotions.”
“All of us have unresolved childhood hurts due to betrayal, anger, manipulation, or abuse. Unconsciously, we seek healing through our partner. And we try to achieve this healing by bonding with someone we sense might hurt us in similar ways to how we were hurt as children, in the hope that we can then convince him or her to finally love and accept us.
Our conscious self is drawn to the positive qualities we yearn for, but our unconscious draws us to the qualities which remind us of how we were wounded the most.”
“Being in nature is our opportunity to check in with ourselves and listen to our bodies and minds. We may realize that our mind chatter is so intense that the stillness of nature is actually stressing us out. We may be exhausted once we’re at our retreat destination. All of this is important information that will help us take better care of our minds and bodies.”
“There are some people who refuse to believe that it is their problem that they cannot deeply and consistently love someone who loves them. They convince themselves that if they do not love someone, it is because it is the other person’s fault. They believe that there is a perfect person out there that they will find it easy to love. Each time they become infatuated with someone new, they idealize this person. Then as they inevitably discover the person’s flaws, they become disillusioned, and devalue, and discard them.”
Emotional trauma and fear of intimacy is one good cocktail to sabotage intimate relationships when they become real, because when there are unresolved issues. Small behaviors can trigger the old memories you have in your brain and projecting them in the present moment, causing anxiety, and the need to escape.
“A growing body of research indicates that spending more time in natural green spaces such as parks, woodlands, mountains, and beaches has healing properties and underscores the importance of nature on your mental and physical health and well-being.
Previous studies showed that living in greener urban areas is linked to lower incidences of heart disease, obesity, diabetes, asthma, mental distress, and mortality rates. The decades-old Japanese practice of forest bathing or shinrin-yoku (which means “taking in the forest”) is believed to provide stress reduction, relaxation, and deeper insights into life.”
“Love can be hard to receive when we’re not fundamentally convinced of our own loveability. We spend our time seeking out those who can make us suffer in ways that feel familiar. And it becomes natural to assume that a kind lover has missed something – and perhaps then to try to behave in disgusting ways just to make sure they understand we’re really not who they thought we were, and will therefore leave us in painful but somehow psychologically gratifying ways.”
“Men can and have had sex with other men, or have fantasies about it, generally come from a place of sexual abuse and a need to override those dark emotions with positive experiences. Otherwise, it could just be a sexual fantasy that may or may not require therapy, one thing is positive however, a level of honesty with the wife is vital to the health of the relationship.”
“Good relationships take commitment and work and helping the other partner grow and mature throughout both the good and bad times. The partners within them must keep learning from each other and are willing to acknowledge the mistakes they make along the way.”