As Rosenberg explains, in a world and culture in which silence cult is incited, judging individuals harshly for exposing their needs is our daily cup of tea. We often get scared and shocked when someone reveals parts of themselves essential to bond correctly with us (the real vulnerability). Everyone wants to possess the courage but is fearful of doing so.
It is impressive and enthralling how music can transport us to already experienced moments, how it can comfort us in painful moments such as a breakup or the loss of a loved one. Or to celebrate special events.
But, shall I ask, how often do we understand the message and lesson behind the lyric? What can a song teach about us, others, love, and relationships?
According to Gottman (2019), true commitment means
that you create a wall around you and your partner with an open window between you. This wall around the two of you separates you from others in terms of your deepest emotional and physical connections (…) Also, if we’re committed, we have given this person everything we have to offer. There’s nothing left over for another lover. That’s a risky decision, but it’s essential. Without this level of commitment, love will not last. (pp.40, 41)
Even though this might sound like an advertising quote, for men or even women in the dating realm is important they stop making assumptions about somebody else behavior. Getting real about your needs and wantings within an intimate relationship is the first step or key to move forward in the direction you want to be. Because the truth is knowing core needs or the requirements to feel safe in a relationship or by yourself isn’t only attractive. It will work as a selective process between who deserves to stay in your life from who doesn’t.
Everything we do is physiological because our subconscious fears and desires drive our motivations and actions through emotions. (Think about it!)
“We are most helpful to women in other countries when we are a model of change, when we share organizational strategies, help call international attention to abuses, lobby for international organizations to classify violations of women’s rights as human rights violations, contribute money to their gender equality campaigns, respond to their “action alerts,” compare stories of struggle, and respect their right to be the architects of their own change. We are least ineffective when we try to tell them what they must do and how they should do it as we don’t usually understand the relevant cultural contexts.”
Shawn Meghan Burn, Ph.D
“Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and conventional wisdom both suggest that love is a fundamental human need. Most people meet their significant others through their social circles or work/school functions. However, these pools can be relatively shallow. In the search for a potential date, more and more people are switching to less traditional methods.
The popularity of online dating is being driven by several things, but a major factor is time. Online dating presents an effective solution to a serious problem.
Browsing profiles isn’t nearly as time-consuming (or daunting) as mixing with people in a social context. Statistics suggest that about 1 in 5 relationships begin online nowadays. It’s estimated that by 2040, 70% of us will have met our significant other online.
The problem with a lot of online dating applications is that they don’t really work. Before you throw caution to the wind and empty your wallet into the pockets of an online app with the reckless abandon of a love-struck teenager, there are a few things you should know.”
Ryan Anderson, Ph.D.
Being single shouldn’t be extremely frustrating, especially when everyone around you seems to have a lovebird by their side. If you’ve sworn off Valentine’s Day, I would like to ask you to reconsider. After all, you can make it a great occasion all on your own!
Many people are choosing not to love. But they shouldn’t, and you shouldn’t forget that all your past experiences happen not to erase love and intimacy from your life, but for you to grow in love.
“It is critical to understand that sensitivity is a temperament—an aspect of personality, such as introversion or extroversion, which is believed to be innate rather than learned. It has been estimated that 15 to 20 percent of the population has a Highly Sensitive temperament. It occurs about equally for men and women. Being an HSP is not considered to be a disorder or malfunction. Unfortunately, in spite of being a significant percentage of the population, HSPs are still not well understood, and their particular challenges are not often recognized.”
Dianne Grande Ph.D.
“Seeking true love is a difficult path, so any assistance available is appreciated by most. Whether you are good looking or not, wealthy or not, young or old, finding a date or finding long-term love is a shared goal that requires you to put yourself out there at risk of personal rejection and humiliation—nothing many of us enjoy.”
Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.
“The best partnerships might be an honest merging of ambivalences, two people who admit they each want conflicting things, a bunny and a buddy, brutal honesty and tactful kindness, and can laugh together about the predicament of trying to get that from one person for life.”
Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D.
“In times past, men and women tended to meet at work, through mutual friends, or at social venues such as church or sports clubs. In other words, their relationship was rooted in a pre-existing social ecology where others could generally be trusted. This could inhibit contemptible dating behavior as wrongdoers faced opprobrium from the pre-existing community.
However, no such social ecology exists within the world of dating apps. On the contrary, some dating app users can hide under a cloak of anonymity or deceit. This can include deception about personal characteristics such as age or profession, as well as dishonesty regarding intentions.”
by Rob Whitley, Ph.D.
What is a “situationship”? Considering all the possible labels that we are using now to define intimate relationships, a “situationship” is a relationship that hasn’t been define yet.
by Alexandra Maria dos Santos
“Stoics place a lot of value on…values — your principles, what you use to guide your life, you deciding the type of person you want to be. These are different from “shoulds” and rules that you may inherit from your parents, your culture. They are chosen by you, and you are responsible for putting them into practice daily.
The key here is again deciding what those values are; deciding and imaging the person you want to be and become, different from your parents, your siblings, those around you. You seeing yourself as the creator of your own present and future.”
Robert Taibbi, L.C.S.W.,
“Many people worry about the dreaded first date. Dating is a universal stressor. This is because rejection comes with the territory. Fear of being rejected or even the fear of having to reject someone can be overwhelming. Mix in unpleasant past experiences and questionable self-esteem and you have a recipe for dating distress!”
Chamin Ajjan MS, LCSW, ACT
“The more time a person invests emotionally in a relationship (even an overall negative one), the more a person will persevere to try to make it work (even though it hasn’t been working, resulting in a tricky cycle). And because there is still basic attachment and love in such relationships, any self-awareness, any intellectual truths, are pushed to the side, and their choices become heavily ruled by their emotions.”
Madeleine A. Fugère Ph.D.
“With few exceptions, human beings want to be emotionally and physically close to each other. Life seems better shared. And yet no area of human endeavor seems more fraught with challenges and difficulties than our relationships with others. Relationships, like most things in life worth having, require effort.”
By Thomas L. Cory, Ph.D.
“When we genuinely trust another person, the dynamics flow more smoothly and openly. A good relationship is when two people acknowledge each other’s past, support each other’s presence, and love each other enough to nurture their future. The most basic and influential way to connect with another person is to listen.”
“Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson