“You cannot heal the abandonment wounds until you allow yourself to fully experience your authentic feeling responses to the suffering of past abandonments and that which continues to play out in your present-day relationships. Acknowledge what you’ve gone through and what you’re currently experiencing in your relationships and other aspects of your life. Notice what you’re feeling in response to these concerns. And then be sure to breathe softly and deeply while centering your awareness within any feelings that arise.”
Although some relationships will fail naturally, others fail because people have this idea that good partners are pushovers or too good to be true. This fallacy leads many men and women to have mayonnaise relationships or love in mayonnaise because of fear of being hurt, and someone will take advantage of them.
“Did you know that for every 4500-5000 female births, 1 baby girl is born with an underdeveloped uterus and vagina? This is a syndrome called Mayer-Rokitansky-Kuster-Hauser syndrome or MRKH and is more common than you may think.
These women have the frightening and difficult experience of accepting their inability to carry their own child, since they don’t have a uterus and may also be feeling uncomfortable forming personal relationships. This may be further exacerbated when there is a very short or even absent vagina and the entire association of ‘womanhood’ may be called into question.”
“Many of us aren’t consciously aware of the ways they may be afraid of love. We may see the real problem in the relationship as being the ways it’s changed. We may list all the issues our partner has, the way he no longer looks at us or she no longer treats us. Or, we may notice our own behavior changing, and chalk that up to no longer feeling the same way toward our partner. However, the real question to ask is why did these dynamics shift in the first place? The answer to that often has to do with fear and fantasy.”
Those who are resilient are able to believe in themselves and their ability to effectively manage life’s challenges. Also, those who are more resilient than others tend to be more proactive and are more inclined to work hard to prevent certain issues and illnesses from occurring. It might be their only key to survival.
Emotional anorexia means that you are in a state of emotional starvation. Just as irritability and anger happen when your blood glucose levels go down, when you don’t have enough “psychological sugar”, your emotional “blood levels” also decrease.
“Compulsive use of dating apps can change your focus to short-term hookups instead of developing long-term relationships. And this behavior has a direct correlation with dopamine and other hormones. People now are seeking fast validation and fast love creating poor connections.”
“Tech companies understand what causes dopamine surges in the brain and they lace their products with ‘hijacking techniques’ that lure us in and create ‘compulsion loops’.” Most social media sites create irregularly timed rewards, Brooks wrote, a technique long employed by the makers of slot machines, based on the work of the American psychologist BF Skinner, who found that the strongest way to reinforce a learned behaviour in rats is to reward it on a random schedule. “When a gambler feels favoured by luck, dopamine is released,” says Natasha Schüll, a professor at New York University and author of Addiction By Design: Machine Gambling in Las Vegas. This is the secret to Facebook’s era-defining success: we compulsively check the site because we never know when the delicious ting of social affirmation may sound.”
“When we are acting from our Integrity, what we could call our authentic self, we don’t try. We don’t’ have a need to try. We just take action. We don’t concern ourselves with whether what we are doing is the right thing. We also don’t have a need to justify or defend what we are doing to anybody. This includes ourselves. The action comes from the heart and is with love, that is how we know it is true. There are not many men or women of integrity. Most people second guess themselves. When a person with emotional integrity makes a mistake, or fails in their endeavor, they don’t judge themselves. They know they did their best and the mind does not create an internal conflict with self judgment.”
We all try to find the true definition of intimacy, but can it be found between words? Intimacy happens at the psychological level, the sense of belonging, the feeling of being alive, content and ecstatic.