2020 Last Article: My Real Life Personal Reflection and Growth

“Resilient individuals find a calling and dedicate themselves to what gives life purpose. Pursuing a meaningful purpose may involve stress and pain in the short run but over the long run brings meaning (e.g., raising children, seeking personal growth, training for a marathon). People with a sense of purpose feel less anxiety and stress (Hagerty, 2016). As Nietzsche remarked, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

Shahram Heshmat Ph.D.

The Tantric Heart Girl

The keys for female sexuality are “responsive female sexual desire” and valuing sensual, playful, and erotic scenarios in addition to intercourse. The new mantra emphasizes that sharing pleasure and eroticism is more important than individual sex performance.

Satisfaction certainly involves orgasm but is much more than orgasm. Satisfaction involves feeling good about yourself as a sexual person and bonded as a sexual couple. This mantra allows women and men to have a shared language.”

Are You Ready To Love? – Article requested by Reilly

“We sometimes go in and out of relationships and not really know (or understand) what’s getting in the way. What makes some relationships click and others not so much, or why we or someone else walks away or refuses to. It’s important to look at what WE bring to the table.”

Vijayeta Sinh Ph.D.

Blissful Were Your Kisses.

“Sensuality is the ability to perceive sensations from something that happens to or comes into contact with your body. It is the quality and skill to get you there, be present and feel it fully. It means you actively inhabit your body. Sensuality is not only sensations of a sexual nature. Think about it.”

Adena Bank Lees, LCSW

International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and Men: 25 November

“In the run up to International Women’s Day last week, the Diversity Council of Australia (DCA) published a list of 8 common myths about workplace sexual harassment. One of these myths is the belief that sexual harassment only happens to straight women, when in reality it happens to people of all genders and sexual orientations.

According to report by Rebecca DiGriolamo in the The Advertiser (Adelaide), nearly 1 in 2 complaints of sexual harassment accepted by the commission in 2017/2018 were made by men.

Sexual harassment against men at work is more common than most people think. Research by the Australian Human Rights Commission has found that 23% of women and 16% of men experienced sexual harassment at work in Australia in 2018.”

by Australian Men’s Health Forum

Are You Over-Focusing on “Connection?”

Like cognitive neuroscience teach us, when it comes to intimate relationships, we should choose “boring” and not “over the top” candidates. Not because we are picky or mean, but because “the spark” isn’t necessarily a good thing or a reliable source of information if someone will be the right partner for you. “Chemistry” is a cocktail of lust and danger that wrings the dopamine out of your neurotransmitters.

Let’s Talk About Sex And The Woman’s Role to Liberate Men.

In times of so much online interactions and technology trance, we need emotional educators, people who are emotionally free from lobbies and patriarchal ideas. We need to educate our children and set them free from intoxicating ideologies and behaviors. We need people who are real people and women who can lead and show the way. Forgetting unnecessary and outdated feminism by rescuing the art of sensuality, and embrace the power that they can choose who they want, when, where, and how. And the lives they want to live also by stop being the Instagram shelf women.

SPS, Attachment Styles, Relationships and Breakups

“It is critical to understand that sensitivity is a temperament—an aspect of personality, such as introversion or extroversion, which is believed to be innate rather than learned. It has been estimated that 15 to 20 percent of the population has a Highly Sensitive temperament. It occurs about equally for men and women. Being an HSP is not considered to be a disorder or malfunction. Unfortunately, in spite of being a significant percentage of the population, HSPs are still not well understood, and their particular challenges are not often recognized.”

Dianne Grande Ph.D.

11.11 – Celebrating Single’s Day in Portugal

“It’s important to recognize why one is single, whether being single is a choice or arises from unconscious factors (and if so what those factors are likely to be), to what extent social influence plays a role in relationship status, and, if partnered, whether one is genuinely interested in being in a relationship. As stigma about singlehood decreases, more people will end up being single, more people will choose being single out of a secure attachment style, and (hopefully) fewer people will be partnered or single for the wrong reasons. Models of secure singlehood will become more defined socially, better understood psychologically, and happy single people will be able to live openly, without having to deal with bias.”

Grant Hilary Brenner MD, FAPA

Breakups: He Asked Me To Be Friends, What Should I Do?

“When you go through a breakup, especially one that’s unexpected, your body may register it as an emergency and go into “fight-or-flight” mode. Being in this state triggers the release of hormones that can prepare your body to stay and deal with a threat or to run away to safety. It can also trigger a rapid heartbeat or trembling.

Our muscles tense, we lose our appetite, we may experience [gastrointestinal] disruption, and we’re likely to have trouble falling asleep. Being in this physically hyper-vigilant state over a period of time can lead to headaches, stomachaches, and muscle soreness”

by Dr. Kristin Bianchi

Breakups: Don’t Blame Your Ex!

“The best partnerships might be an honest merging of ambivalences, two people who admit they each want conflicting things, a bunny and a buddy, brutal honesty and tactful kindness, and can laugh together about the predicament of trying to get that from one person for life.”

Jeremy E. Sherman Ph.D.

“Ringo, I Love You”: They Thought Cher Was a Man!

“The song is completely innocuous. However, Cher’s vocals on the song made many people assume she was a man. Because of this, people interpreted “Ringo, I Love You” as a gay love song. Subsequently, “Ringo, I Love You” was banned from the majority of radio stations. The song was a commercial flop.”

Want a Satisfying Sexual Life? Girls, Let’s Lube!

In both women and men, lube enhances skin sensitivity to erotic touch. Many women of all ages don’t self-lubricate sufficiently for comfortable intercourse. And many post-menopausal women suffer chronic vaginal dryness. As a result, many sexologists encourage couples of all ages to use lube every time.

Girls, let’s lube!

Motherhood: Are Children for me?

“A society that properly loved children would know that the single greatest contribution to children’s welfare is the removal of the idea that everyone should automatically have them. A good society would give equal prestige to childless and childful states. We best honor children, the born and the unborn, by accepting that parenting should never be the automatic choice – just as the wisest way to ensure that people will have happy marriages is to destigmatize the single state.”

by School of Life

Catarina of Bragança, The Portuguese Who Changed England.

“Are you a woman of impact? Whether you are impacting your family, your work group, your community or the world, you are wielding your power. The more you accept that you are powerful, the more good you can do.”

“I’m Done!” – The Perils of Infatuation

“Levitan quotes the research of psychologist Dorothy Tennov who found that the duration of infatuation typically lasts at most “between approximately 18 months and three years.” Circumstances like a long-distance relationship or chronic relationship insecurity may artificially extend the tingling phenomenon, at the cost of delaying the shift either into a departure from the relationship or into commitment to a mature and reliable love partnership.”

Bae, Your Family Drive Me Nuts!

Does your boyfriend or girlfriend’s family drive you crazy? Come to think of it, I don’t know anyone who’s family doesn’t drive them nuts. Let’s be honest, we all have family issues. It’s okay. Just laugh at another funny barbie video where Barb shows us what lengths she is willing to go to maintain some form of sanity.

Sexual and Intimacy Anorexia is Abuse!

“Although still stigmatized in our culture, sex addiction has steadily gained recognition in the public consciousness over the past decade, resulting in a host of treatment centers, rehabs, support groups and specialized therapists. What is less talked about, but equally devastating, is “sexual anorexia,” a concept that refers to the compulsive avoidance of sexual nourishment and intimacy.”

Alexandra Katehakis Ph.D., MFT